Angry and Humiliated

New York, USA. Following the uproar in India over Bollywood superstar Shahrukh Khan being held up for around two hours at an airport, the American security officials have finally issued a statement denying any racial or religious profiling being the reason behind the incident. But officials have confirmed that the Indian actor was detained because he indeed was perceived to be a threat to the domestic security, because of his famous stammering.

“When Mr. Khan was asked his name, he told – My name is K K K… Before he could complete his sentence, the junior security official detained him for being a suspect supporter of the banned organization. Later on we watched various interviews and movies by Mr. Khan and concluded that he stammers at the ‘k’ sound, so we let him go. Watching all those movies and interviews could have taken much more time as Indians talk a lot and make quite lengthy movies, but to our credit, we finished the business within two hours.” a security official said.

The homeland security department categorically denied any religious profiling in the incident as they argued that Shahrukh didn’t appear Muslim to them.

“His name surely is pathetic, but he doesn’t wear that tube wrapped turban. He also has no beard without moustache and he doesn’t stink like a goat. No copy of that holy book was found in his luggage and he didn’t ask for a permission to say prayers while being detained. He surely doesn’t look Muslim to us. We don’t profile anybody on religious grounds.” the security official explained.

The department also denied any racial profiling though they agreed that Shahrukh did appear Asian to them and he needed to work on his skin color and accent.

“Yes, he indeed appears very much Indian – a show off and whining boy like most of you. But we do such stuff to celebrities of all origins. I hope you know that one of our junior officials detained the legendary singer and musician Bob Dylan and asked for his identity proof. It happened the same day when we were watching those pathetic movies of your stammering Khan. We like being close and personal with celebrities, no profiling or bias here.” the security official further explained.

Back home, Indian I&B minister Ambika Soni has rejected all these claims and explanations of the US security officials and has reiterated her proposed policy of ‘tit for tat’. A government circular issued at all international airports in India has asked the security officials to strip search all American VIPs, especially actors and actresses. The circular has been issued with joint collaboration of the tourism and culture ministry under the “Incredible India” campaign.

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