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Millions injured as series of Tendulkar debates rock various parts of India

Hyderabad. As soon as India lost to Australia by three runs in the fifth ODI of the Hero Honda Cup on Thursday night, various cities in India were shaken violently by Tendulkar debates, with people attacking each other over the culpability of Sachin Tendulkar for the loss. At least 5.7 million people were reportedly injured with heartbreaks, spoilt mood, scratched arms, banged backs, and pulled hairs as the debate grew shriller.

India was largely peaceful and united till Tendulkar was scoring runs

India was largely peaceful and united till Tendulkar was scoring runs

Sachin Tendulkar had scored 175 runs, his 45th ODI century, as India chased Australia’s total of 350, but he got out when just 19 runs were needed of 17 balls to win the match. Rest of the bat-holding-cricketers couldn’t hit those required runs as India fell short by 3 runs, triggering a barrage of verbal assaults between different groups of Indians.

Terms like “what the fuck”, “oh no not again”, “#$@$@#!”,“God deserved better”, “dont give me that shit”, “nobody needs your opinion”, “shut your fucking mouth”, “get out of here you asshole”, and various other expletives exploded on twitter, facebook, orkut and various discussion forums as people attacked, defended and sympathized with Sachin Tendulkar’s innings.

“I was thrown slippers at when I argued that Sachin played a reckless shot. I did a George Bush to save myself but seriously, what the fuck. Can’t I even express my opinion?” Rajesh, a student of IIT Kanpur said, who argued that Sachin should have anticipated the velocity of the ball, the angle his bat’s surface was making with ball, the resultant torque, the trajectory of the projectile, and the displacement of the fielder before he hit that shot that got him out.

People defending Tendulkar argued that he had every right to get out at any time as cricket was a team game and Sachin had no business winning it all alone for India. Most of these people blamed non-Sachin factors for the defeat like failure of the middle-order batsmen, Dhoni’s decision to take a late powerplay, and the spirited display of tail-ender batting and running between wickets by cricketers led by the highly enigmatic all-rounder Ravindra Jadeja.

“Why the hell people expect Sachin to do everything? There are ten other players also in the team. Nobody says them anything. We have been putting up this nonsense since 90’s and it was 90’s once again yesterday night. Although I felt sad, I felt young again.” Durgesh, a Sachin supporter said, who kept his green colored Mickey Mouse towel on his left shoulder all through the match as he strongly believes that that it brings good luck to Sachin whenever he (Durgesh) watches matches on television that way.

Apart from clashes in hostels and on internet, various other households also witnessed tensions and fights over the issue. A newly married couple in New Delhi slept in different bedrooms as the wife giggled after Tendulkar was out and predicted that India would lose the match because her husband had denied her an episode of Bigg Boss.

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Reported by on Nov 6th, 2009 and filed under Cricket. You can follow any responses to this report through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this report



10 Responses for “Millions injured as series of Tendulkar debates rock various parts of India”

  1. Shantanu says:

    Respect for the way in which PP inserts ‘Bat holding cricketers’ in the post! Now waiting for journalists to pick this post and publish/broadcast it around the world.. :P

  2. saanchi says:

    Also various school’s and colleges will now have “How much Indian cricket team is dependent on Sachin ?” type of GD topics , as their favorite in the coming exams …

  3. Mohitoz says:

    This is hilarious; beats my retake on Murphy’s Laws hollow !! Even the last one on Tendulkar’s record yesterday :-) http://mohitoz.wordpress.com/2009/11/06/first-law-of-sachin-tendulkar/

  4. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by shiladitya and nchokkan, Faking News. Faking News said: Breaking News: Millions injured as series of Tendulkar debates rock various parts of India http://bit.ly/3Ychy0 #fakingnews [...]

  5. Nikhil says:

    Hahaha.. too good man… Amazing style of writing.. Bat-holding-cricketers, IITK guy comment, green Mikey Mouse towel, Sachin’s right to get out at any time.. everything is too good and gels together brilliantly.

  6. pawan rathee says:

    ha ha ha …good one man……keep going

  7. Sandeep says:

    Hahah..! “running between wickets by cricketers led by the highly enigmatic all-rounder Ravindra Jadeja.:”

  8. Farmville says:

    farmville is the best game ever and this is the best blog post!

  9. Ayush says:

    i want an article on the post above :)

  10. [...] bill since November 2009 when India failed to win a match against Australia despite Sachin scoring 175 [...]

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