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Delhi man caught taking a dump on 50 feet high Metro tracks

New Delhi. Attempts to educate Delhi residents into behaving like global citizens received a stinking setback when Delhi Metro officials caught a man defecating (discharging shit) on the tracks near the Pragati Maidan station. It’s not yet clear how the man, 25-year-old Anal Azad, climbed onto the 50-feet high tracks to attend to the nature’s call. Although Anal has been apprehended, Metro officials are unsure what to do next.

“It’s a punishable offence to walk on the tracks or to spit inside the premises, but he was neither walking nor spitting when we caught him. He was sitting and shitting. We’re consulting our lawyers to frame suitable charges,” said a Delhi Metro Rail Corporation Limited (DMRC) spokesperson. According to our sources, DMRC is toying with the idea of terming Anal’s activities as vandalism, indecency, and defacing of Metro premises.

A Delhi resident helping himself and the city

A Delhi resident helping himself and the city

But Anal has rejected all these accusations and had argued that he was doing something that was a ‘done thing’ in and around Delhi.

“There are so many areas in Delhi where people go to toilet on footpaths. You can see them with their pants down in the morning and nobody thinks it’s indecent. In fact residents of those areas describe such places as landmarks to people visiting them. And how is it vandalism or defacing of public property when even Indian Railways use their tracks as dumping ground for train toilets?” Anal argued.

Anal might have a strong case here, as no one has been ever arrested by MCD or Delhi Police for such acts. Even DMRC officials are aware of this fact and hence they are now trying to question Anal into revealing how he climbed onto the tracks, so that Anal can be booked for walking on the tracks or moving inside the Metro premises without permission.

Anal, being a LLB student himself, has doggedly refused to divulge how he climbed onto the tracks. He has been putting forward outlandish reasons such as his queer disorder of forgetting everything he did half-an-hour before going to toilet. DMRC officials have been trying their best till reports last came in.

Meanwhile common people in Delhi had mixed reactions to the news, with most of them considering it a setback to the city’s preparation for the next year’s Commonwealth Games. But there were a few people who thought Anal had done the right thing and people defecating on footpaths should learn from him.

“Nobody can see or smell shit on tracks when inside an air-conditioned Metro coach. Foreigners would never be able to find out the fact of the matter. It’s any day better than shitting on footpath,” Manish, a resident of Kalkaji said.

But Delhi government has rejected such views as being ‘negative’ and has promised to work towards a solution. According to our sources, the tracks could be made at least 70 feet high and the pillars could be barbed in the remaining phases of Delhi Metro, so that people don’t climb onto it easily to repeat Anal’s acts.

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Reported by on Dec 16th, 2009 and filed under Culture. You can follow any responses to this report through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this report



10 Responses for “Delhi man caught taking a dump on 50 feet high Metro tracks”

  1. alok says:

    he he he he he shitty news!!! bt still awesome lolll

  2. Nick says:

    A very well worked post. Awesome work.

  3. Nimba says:

    Anal Azad — most appropriate name ever

  4. Sajish says:

    PP Nice workreee……….[:)]

  5. Mohitoz says:

    True, very true. There’s a law on this: mohitoz.wordpress.com/2009/09/16/first-law-of-indian-males/

  6. Raj Kiran says:

    Anal Azad! Killer.. lol

  7. tiger says:

    “Anal Azad”
    hahahahhaahaha… :D

  8. anupam says:

    “anal azad” ,, awesome dude

  9. Rupesh says:

    Anal Azad…………kudos to u guys

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