Orlando, USA. American golfer Tiger Woods has shocked all the conspiracy theorists and sports journalists by claiming that he was practicing driving in Delhi-like traffic when his car crashed last Friday. Woods was injured when his car, a 2009 Cadillac Escalade SUV, reportedly not speeding above 33mph at the time of the accident, crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree near his home around 2:30 AM local time.

“Well, it was supposed to be a secret but since people have started speculating about involvement of a mistress in the accident, I’ve to come up with this revelation – golf is going to be a part of Commonwealth Games in Delhi, much before it’s going to be readmitted into the Olympics at Rio. I would be spending a lot of time in Delhi next year to oversee the preparations and was practicing driving in similar conditions when I met the accident. But my driving instructor says I did just perfect for Delhi traffic.” Tiger Woods said in a press conference.

Tiger Woods (left) and his Indian traffic instructor Satpal Singh

Woods also introduced his driving instructor Satpal Singh, who has especially being flown from Delhi to give him tips on how to drive in Delhi. Satpal runs ‘Lovely Driving School’ in Dhaula Kuan in Delhi and resembles Rani Mukherjee of Dil Bole Hadippa. The feminine looks of Satpal have been argued as the reason some journalists have been suspecting involvement of a New York nightclub hostess in the accident.

“O jee, I look like Rani Mukherjee and people often confuse me as being a female, but I’m a male jee. Tiger paji has been spending a lot of time with me trying to learn strategies to drive in Delhi. Some of you might have seen me and thought I was some mistress, but look closely, I’m a mister jee. Tiger paji has been doing very good and such accidents are common in Delhi, there is no need to worry jee.” Satpal shocked a host of American journalists who had assembled to get some spicy scoop.

The revelations of Satpal Singh and Tiger Woods are expected to silence the critics who wondered how the car of Woods could meet an accident when not traveling at high speed, but it might create further controversies on the woman involved in the accident and the preparations of 2010 Commonwealth Games in Delhi.

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5. “Shall we call it Kanshi Ram or Rajiv Gandhi Commonwealth Games?”