New Delhi. Taking a cue from Maldives and Nepal, where Cabinets met underwater and on Mount Everest respectively to underscore the problems of global warming, Union Cabinet has decided to hold its next meeting on trees to create awareness in India on the issues pertaining climate change. The meeting would take place on a few selected trees within the parliamentary premises on a weekday within the next two weeks.

“We can’t let you know the exact date as of now due to security concerns, but you will be informed in advance so that you can bring your cameras.” Priya Ranjan Dasmunsi, Minister of Parliamentary Affairs informed mediapersons, adding that the central ministers will discuss some issues related to climate change while on trees, before getting down to the usual work.

Trees inside the parliament premises (above) and a security person searching the trees (below)

“India will be sending out a message of saving trees and getting closer to our environment.” Dasmunshi set forth the objective of the meeting.

Preparations have started for the on-tree meeting with security persons inspecting all the trees within the parliamentary premises for any suspicious objects. It’s not yet clear if the central ministers will undergo any training for tree-climbing before the meeting. Speculators believe that the meeting could take place during the Copenhagen summit that starts on 7^th December and ends on 18^th December, which leaves a maximum of two weeks for the ministers to prepare themselves for the tree-climbing exercises.

“Given such a short span of time, I think it’s virtually impossible for our ministers to learn the art of tree-climbing. Most probably there would be swings on these trees and the cabinet members will sit on those swings for the meeting.” Rajni Rao, an expert on parliamentary affairs said, but adding with caution, “But there could be a bigger problem. There are a lot of monkeys within the premises and they love swinging on these trees. They might not enjoy the sight of ministers swinging on these trees and may attack and maul them.”

Security officials in charge of keeping the monkeys at bay have rejected such concerns. They have expressed confidence that the meeting will take place in full security and will be a global success. “We are fully prepared to take on any challenge from the monkeys.” Ramlaal, trainer of Payal, the langoor that will keep the monkeys at bay said.

Common citizens of India have expressed happiness and are eagerly waiting to witness the event. Last time human beings were seen suspended mid-air with the help of swings was in the Mithun Chakraborty starrer cult movie Gunda, where Lucky Chikna had used this method to attract customers.

But there are a few people who are not too excited and are dismissing the whole idea as a ‘publicity stunt’ by the central ministers. “If they really wanted to send out some message for saving environment, they should have held a cabinet meeting in the Yamuna River in Delhi that looks like a dirty nallah (sewage canal) and then they would have also known the problems.” Rajendra Singh, an environmentalist said.

Possibly Related News:

1. Trees in Noida Park to be clipped in shape of Mayawati and Elephants
2. Banyan tree claims divine healing power, seeks followers
3. How caste based census data would change Indian markets
4. Number portability in education mooted; retain your marks, change institute
5. Union Budget speech printouts found in Parliament canteen