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AMU forms committee to write manual for having sex on campus

Aligarh. After suspending a professor for being gay, Aligarh Muslim University has formed a high-level committee to compile a set of dos and don’ts for having sex on the university campus. The committee will submit their report, and a set of handbooks, by the end of this month, containing detailed description of acceptable and commendable sexual behavior by students, faculty and other members of the AMU society.

The pressing need for such sexual guidelines was felt when the campus was shocked by visuals of a sting operation showing an almost retired male professor enjoying sex with a male rickshaw-puller. Some students had valiantly and strategically placed the cameras to expose the pervert professor, pushing the AMU authorities into action, who immediately suspended the stung professor.

“This incident clearly shows that anything that happens on the campus can’t be called a private act, as they can become public anytime. Hence it’s imperative that people living on the campus lead an exemplary life, both in private as well as in the public domain. We have decided to issue guidelines in this regard, and sex is the first thing that comes to our mind.” Prof P K Abdul Azis, VC, AMU, said.

Sex for Dummies

The committee at AMU promises to come up with a better manual than earlier attempted by many

The composition of the committee is not yet known and speculations are rife if the members were worthy of representing the AMU society. This has caused a heated debate on the campus.

“We don’t know if there are any women members in the committee.” protested a Seema, a second year BA student, while rickshaw-pullers working in and around the campus worried if any kind of relationship with them could be declared illicit and unlawful.

Others worried if there could be some cross-dressers or pedophiles on the campus, who might have sneaked into the committee and could thrust their sense of morality on others. Others claimed that AMU was virtually a city in itself and one-size-fits-all kind of rules can’t be applied to the campus.

“Today it’s sex, what would be the next on the menu? A manual telling everyone what’s normal and accepted on campus while taking a bath and using toilets?” wondered Irfan, an engineering student, questioning the basic idea behind forming such a committee.

Nonetheless, AMU authorities are confident of coming up with a set of guidelines that would help the university reclaim its loss of glory and reputation due to the sting operation.

“No, it won’t be a rip-off of Kamasutra; our people are capable to creating new guidelines.” averred Prof Azis.

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Reported by on Feb 19th, 2010 and filed under Culture. You can follow any responses to this report through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this report



7 Responses for “AMU forms committee to write manual for having sex on campus”

  1. Kavi says:

    Excellent Sarcasm!
    and shame on AMU authorities!!

  2. hammad says:

    good move by authorities by suspending the profesor but apart from this sting operation should be banned

  3. Raja says:

    The rickshaw-puller asssociation of aligarh RPAA has feliciated their for having high level connections

  4. Mudassir says:

    Although u have tried to give the humurous angle in this article, but I don’t liked it at all. Your funny angle is quite offensive and it makes a mockery of the institute that is known for moral values..Please think twice before writing such articles…

    • all smoked up says:

      Shut up and get a funny bone stitched in !!

    • I have not seen a single Muslim even the most educated even those claiming to be atheist has supported decriminalization of Gay marriage in India? Wonders why?
      Is it so difficult for muslims to live without there religious belief ?

  5. Ravish says:

    Too good!

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