Kolkata. Barely a day after Maoists announced a diktat to poison all the dogs in Jhargram-Lalgarh area of West Bengal, dogs have announced their willingness to talk to the Maoists and arrive at a peaceful solution. Dogs have named Maneka Gandhi and Arundhati Roy as their choices for the role of mediators. Maoists had directed killings of dogs as they suspected them of conniving with security forces.

“We are one of the most disadvantaged sections of the society and were never given our due. We are fighting a battle of survival here. We don’t want bloodshed and we are ready for talks, but the Maoists must stop their poisoning drive before that.” said Kuttanandan, leader of Movement for Dog Rights (MDR).

Most dogs in the area have been depressed since the news broke out about Maoists planning to poison them

Maneka Gandhi, a politician and Animals Rights activist, was quick to accept the offer of being the mediator, but Arundhati Roy was seen wishy-washy.

“It’s a very complex issue. You see, dogs have a long association with corporate houses – from starring in mobile ads to creating a market for dog foods. Before I would comment, I will have to analyze it deeper, at least in 25000 words, to understand this symbiotic relationship between the canines and corporate interests.” said the famous fiction writer.

Dogs have expressed shock at the statement of Arundhati Roy, and feared that Ms. Roy was being driven by some prejudices or personal bias against the dogs.

“We want to make it clear to Ms. Roy and all other writers that dog-eared books have got nothing to do with the dogs. In fact, a dog-eared book could actually be a sign of popularity of that book and writers should welcome it. We sincerely hope that we are not in the bad books of our writers.” Kuttanandan also denied any association with the corporate houses and made a passionate appeal to all the writers and activists to help them out of this trouble.

Maoists have not yet responded to the offer of talk by the dogs, but experts believe that the prospects of such talks were very bleak and it won’t be a cake walk for either Maneka Gandhi or even Arundhati Roy to broker peace between the Maoists and the Dogs.

“Maoists don’t find dogs trustworthy and want the dogs to stop barking, which is the nature of the dogs. I don’t know how a solution can be arrived at. We are heading towards a showdown.” feared Debu, an expert on conflicts.

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