What's going on inside?

New Delhi. Twenty eight years old Dheer Gambhir (not his original name), a first time MP who won as an independent candidate in the last general elections, has accused some senior MPs of ragging him for over a month inside the parliament premises. This is the first reported incident of ragging inside the parliament and it has shocked everyone beyond belief. Gambhir has leveled serious allegations against many senior Lok Sabha MPs belonging to various national and regional parties.

“They would ask me to do really absurd stuff and claim that it would only prepare me better to take part in the parliamentary proceedings. Once they asked me to sit on a boiled egg and break it into various parts without touching it with my hands. When I somehow did that, they asked me to measure the length of all the broken parts, saying it would complete the ‘divide and rule’ lesson. It was disgusting.” Gambhir alleged.

Gambhir further alleged that other first time MPs were also subjected to such horrifying and sadistic treatment by older MPs. His most shocking revelation was the claim that older MPs also ordered the younger MPs to perform acts that were obscene and amounted to sexual harassment.

“Once they applied sugar syrup all over my body and asked my fellow first timer to lick it. The other MP was also a man (sic.) and I didn’t enjoy this gay licking at all. They made us go through this horrible stuff after we had asked a question in Zero Hour related to continual export of sugar by India even though our domestic stocks were depleting. Apparently none of them thought the question made any sense.” Gambhir leveled further horrifying allegations.

The senior MPs, cutting across party lines, have termed the allegations of Gambhir as baseless and have accused him of being mentally deranged.

But Gambhir has already lodged a police complaint in this regard against thirteen MPs aged between 55 and 75 years, belonging to different parties. Faking News has decided not to print the names of these MPs until the case comes out open in the public domain once the courts or the police take some action. That might take some time as Delhi police is clueless over the next logical step in the case and are planning to meet the Speaker of Lok Sabha tomorrow to seek guidance.

“It’s a very complicated case. Supreme Court had outlawed ragging but that was for educational institutes. Although parliament resembles a college with rowdy students, technically it’s not an educational institute. Then you have these privileges enjoyed by parliamentarians that safeguard them against any punitive action. Delhi police would need some legal opinion before proceeding.” a noted lawyer and constitutional expert told Faking News, handing out his business card.

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