Jaipur. A local banyan tree here has declared that it had divine powers and it could heal human beings of all their ills and misfortunes, all that they needed to do was to take good care of it and tie some threads around its trunk. The move has come as a shock to the plant society of whole India, but human beings have started thronging the place to become the earliest followers of the tree.

“I just tied a thread and watered the roots. And let me tell you, it really feels good. In fact, I was happier to see banyan baba smiling.” said Ananda, one of the first followers of the tree, who is planning to form a committee comprising of other select followers to control crowds of pilgrims and accept their offerings on behalf of the now-sacred tree.

What an Idea sirjee! The banyan tree has already become busy after living years of an ordinary and immobile life

The banyan tree has also given its consent in principle and has shown keen interest in hiring Ananda for crowd and cash management jobs. Speaking exclusively to Faking News, the tree also shared its experience on how it discovered its divine powers.

“I was just another tree with dogs peeing on my roots and crows pooping on my twigs. But last week, a man passed by and lowered his head as he looked towards me. I was amused, but the same night I got a dream where god appeared and told me that I was the chosen one among all the trees and it was my responsibility to spread hope and belief in today’s decadent society. After a lot of introspection, I decided to accept the responsibility.” said the speaking tree, which looked a lot like Abhishek Bachchan.

Even though the tree is set to attract more followers and maybe even a sponsor in Idea Cellular Limited, the fellow trees have expressed utter shock and disbelief over this development. Far from being it a sign of divinity, other trees see this as a sign of moral depravity.

“All this business of declaring oneself divine and chosen one is human and we trees are not supposed to indulge in such things. It’s true that many trees and plants like tulsi are worshipped in this country, but none of them attained that distinction through such shameless self-promotion. Such behavior is unbecoming of a plant or a tree.” said Genda Phool, spokesperson of the plant society of India.

“We don’t believe in the concept of godtrees.” quipped Genda, rejecting comparisons of such trees with godmen among the human beings.

But the concerned banyan tree is not at all concerned and has rejected such criticisms from fellow trees and plants. With the help of Ananda, it’s planning to host a daily half an hour show on a leading national television channel, where it would share and spread its thoughts on various issues like morality, politics, technology, fashion, relationships, and finance.

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