Bhiwani. Enthused and turned on by the movie title, a local Khap Panchayat met here early today to watch the upcoming movie “I Hate Luv Storys” but found it contrary to their expectations. Upset by this KLPD, the Panchayat is mulling over banning the movie for misleading the youth of the country, ironically a step that could only help the movie generate more controversy and hence success.

“There was no ‘hate’ at all goddamnit!” Boochar Tau, the Khap leader, who enjoys close and friendly relations with Faking News, said. Khap leaders were expecting the movie to be a statement against love marriages, especially same gotra marriages.

Apparently this movie too turned out to be another love story

The movie is slated to release next Friday in India if Khaps don’t ban it. When contacted, the producers of the movie refused to comment over the disapproval of Khap leaders, but sources indicate that the possibility of the movie getting banned in a part of India has filled them with hope.

“My name is Khan and I’m not a publicity seeker.” said Imran Khan, who stars in the movie, vehemently rejecting the insinuations that his team was looking forward to getting the movie banned by the Khaps.

Whether or not this movie is banned, Khap leaders have confirmed that henceforth they would review all the upcoming Bollywood movies and decide whether they were fit for public consumption or not. They denied that such a step amounted to forming a super censor board.

“Kya bak raha hai baawri punnch.” Boochar Tau rejected the criticism and refused to answer if Khap had pirated copies I Hate Luv Storys VCDs.

Khap leaders claim that the modern Bollywood movies had corrupted the youth, who were falling in love and marrying against their family wishes in an attempt to ape filmy heroes and heroines. Khap leaders want the filmmakers to produce movies that uphold traditional values.

“We had kinda liked Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak. The chhora-chhori in that movie (couple in love played by Aamir Khan and Juhi Chawla) belonged to the same gotra and ultimately both of them got killed after they married each other. Fantastic!” Boochar Tau recalled, though he thought that the movie should have had a longer climax involving the death scene while the kissing scenes were not required.

“It was poorly edited in parts.” he said.

The leaders have also demanded that the mainstream media mentioned the number of stars awarded by Khap Panchayats to different movies while discussing reviews. I Hate Luv Storys has been awarded only one star by them just for having a favorable title.

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