Angelina Jolie “When Brad bores me, I turn to Faking News”
Brad Pitt “I read Faking News to keep Angelina happy”
“I mean, fine, India is a democracy, but the citizens here get the same shit, isn’t it?” a delegate from Saudi Arabia explained to Faking News, “I mean look at corruption around you. People are burnt alive or shot dead if they oppose it, while others die of hunger. But no, Indians are so happy! We need to learn this art to manage our own guys.”
Kollywood actor Joseph Vijay Chandrasekhar, who is known to remake hit movies of other languages, especially Telugu, in Tamil, has decided to allocate a substantial part of his earnings to sponsor research program at IIT Madras to build a time machine. Vijay hopes to go to the future, watch all hit movies that are not yet released, come back to the present time, and remake them.
Internal investigations into the hacking of “fan page” of Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg has revealed that the security breach happened after Zuckerberg added a “suggested friend” to his personal profile. Sources indicate that the suggested friend’s profile had a display picture of a rather hot looking girl, which most probably led the Facebook founder to fall into the sinister trap.
Government is reported to have asked the Supreme Court to “chill” and not “take load” over the issue of black money in Swiss banks, as the matter is not as important as it is made out to be. “Chill yaar,” the government advocate is reported to have said the SC bench when it asked if the government acted against any of those whose names they have.
With land and real estate properties being directly controlled by politicians, Mumbai mafia is now targeting “wombs for rent” market i.e. surrogacy for controlling prices and monopoly. An investigation by Faking News can reveal that 95% of surrogate mothers in Mumbai are currently “rented” by one man. The figure in question is known only as “Baby Rajora” is thought to head the “womb mafia” in Maharashtra.
Socially responsible television channel MTV has added another feather to its cap by saving a capacious amount of electrical power by suppressing the Roadies’ trademark background score – the “BEEP” tone. The legendary tone that dominated its previous seasons is missing in the current season, where the censored words are just timely muted. This has reduced the audio output power consumption of the show by almost 57%.
“Athrah baras ka main”, a book authored by an internet bot i.e. an automated software application, was released on the sidelines of the ongoing Jaipur Literature Festival today. The book is written in Hindi and is a work of fiction telling the story of an Indian boy who could freeze the process of his biological and mental ageing at the age of eighteen.
The British Government will raise the Union Jack over Lal Chowk at Srinagar today after a 63-year-long absence. The British presence is an attempt to ease tensions in the region by uniting the BJP and Kashmiri separatists against a common enemy. The temporary “re-colonization” will begin this afternoon when a brigade of Royal Marines will fly the British flag from the city’s tower and take up defensive positions nearby.
Dhiraj Joshi, 19, had to put up with a barrage of insults and ridicule for having logged into his Orkut account in presence of two Facebook users, who also happened to be his batchmates at a local engineering college. They were later joined by a bunch of other students from the same hostel, who made life hell for Dhiraj for a seemingly innocuous act of “scrapping”.
Cricket Australia is believed to have asked the ICC to defer the 2011 World Cup by a few months as the board believes that the recent earthquake has made the conditions “unfairly favorable” to the hosts by causing cracks to appear on the sub-continent pitches, thus making them “too turny”. This after the Indian cricket team took responsibility for the earthquake that jolted parts of India and Pakistan.
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