Mumbai. In a rather expected decision, BCCI has decided to drop non-performing Poonam Pandey from the team selected to play tweet-tweet during the Asia Cup. Poonam Pandey, a former Kingfisher calendar girl, has not been posing nude even almost a year after having promised so. She posted some allegedly nude pictures on twitter during this period, but always fell short of the target by a few meters of clothes.

“Her performance has become as bad as Kingfisher airlines,” chief selector Kris Srikkanth told Faking News, “She got much more chances than what Sachin Tendulkar got to score his 100^th century. She wasn’t dropped or rested from a single series since World Cup, but she didn’t end up even with 75% nudity, while Sachin scored over 75 runs many times.”

Poonam Pandey, apparently nude.

Srikkanth reiterated that the non-stripping model was “dropped” and not “rested” due to fitness or any other such reasons.

“She is just 19 years old, younger than Shahid Afridi, and very much match fit, definitely fitter than Ashish Nehra. She can tweet at a rate better than Virat Kohli can score runs or show middle fingers, but we are no longer interested in her services,” a visibly upset Srikkanth said.

“kapda nahi kholta yaar,” he clarified in his trademark Hindi when prodded by an India TV reporter during the press conference to announce the tweet-tweet playing team.

Srikkanth clarified that the official team selected to play tweet-tweet during cricket matches was comprised only of Twitter users like Harsha Bhogle, sports journalists from various media houses, BCCI’s own Twitter account, and Mandira Bedi. Poonam Pandey’s tweets on cricket will be treated like just another tweet, or like Sagarika Ghose’s tweet on anything.

When asked who will replace Poonam in the team, Srikkanth said that he’d take a call after consulting IPL fans who watch the game just for the cheerleaders.

Srikkanth categorically denied that Harbhajan Singh, not picked up in the cricket playing team, or Vinod Kambli was being considered to replace Poonam Pandey.

“Boss. Shut up!” he angrily said, “Who spreads such bullshit? Lalit Modi?”

While the public was divided over the cricket playing team selected to play Asia Cup, many fans have supported BCCI’s decision to drop Poonam Pandey, with some even asking for a permanent ban on her.

“She said she’d be doing a Dada and go topless after India won the match yesterday,” Venkat, a former Poonam Pandey fan said, “I waited for her video but she posted just a picture. It was very disappointing. Dada exposed more than her.”

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4. IPL franchises unhappy with BCCI for not consulting them over World Cup team
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