New Delhi. After Supreme Court asked the government to provide the number of homosexuals living in India, government has turned to Google – the search engine that knows it all. Government has offered Google some relief in cases it has filed against the company for hosting objectionable content if the internet search giant agreed to cooperate and let the secrets of ordinary Indians be known to the government.

“I am sure they know if someone is gay or not,” said union Home Minister P Chidambaram, who otherwise might have to arrange a special gay census to comply with the court order.

Government has asked Google to analyze the search terms, email content, and the nature of websites visited by a user to find out the sexual orientation of that person and submit the data to the Home Ministry.

Government can know who has this picture as his desktop wallpaper

“It should be as easy as finding out who is pro-BJP or anti-Sonia,” Chidambaram said, “Say a man who has blocked every female contact on his Google-talk list could be marked as gay. Or say a man over 30 visiting Justin Bieber fan sites.”

Experts too believe that Google can easily find out the sexual orientation of a user if the internet company desires so. However, they point out that even the government can find that out as the laws allow them to do virtually anything.

“New IT rules framed last year empowers government to ask a cyber café to record the identity and web history of a user. So not only in an assembly, a person can be identified even while watching porn in a cyber café,” an IT expert pointed out.

“Kapil Sibal is watching you,” he added.

However, the government says that they have no such intentions and have instead asked Google to do the job on their behalf. “The job of finding out the number of homosexuals,” government sources clarified.

“We might run a few analyses and give the data to the government; we are sick of these court cases and don’t want any more confrontations with the government,” a Google employee said.

Sources suggest that Government has agreed to this ‘compromise’ by Google, however, the Home Minister clarified that Google won’t be allowed to undertake this analysis on Sonia Gandhi and her family members to find out their sexual orientations as this amounted to violation of privacy.

“Madam Gandhi has a right to privacy and earlier we had granted her the same in case of her illness, and we will be following this policy again,” Chidambaram said.

When Faking News asked why the same set of rules shouldn’t be applied to ordinary Indians, Chidambaram Sehwagesquely told our reporter, “You yourself called them ‘ordinary’ Indians, didn’t you?”

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