“The quadricycle is supposed to be better than the auto-rickshaw because it has an extra wheel,” says UU Motros’ CEO Jai Tiwari, “but it can only operate one way up. Our car not only solves this problem but has even more wheels than Bajaj’s, so it must be better.”
The Ulta Ultra has a fifth wheel on the roof which enables it to drive upside down. With traffic in cities becoming more aggressive, drivers need to “prepare for every eventuality”, the sales pitch goes.
“Imagine, you’re late for work and you’re driving too fast,” Tiwari explains, “You hit someone on a bicycle and your car turns turtle! With the Ulta Ultra, you don’t have to stop; you can still reach the office in time – no skidding, no crashing, it’s a safety revolution. Even the cup holder rotates 180 degrees.”
“We think this is an excellent idea,” said UP Transport Policy head, Charan Tiwari, “We’re going to make the Ulta Ultra the mandatory taxi model for the entire state, chhotu has done us proud!”
Faking News asked whether taxis turning turtle really was a big problem, but were told that we were “anti progress” and that there had been a recent problem with journalists “suddenly turning turtle”. Several large men then entered the room.
Having declared the interview over, our correspondent quickly left UU’s shed in a field near Gorakhpur, in which the company bolts the spare wheels from burnt out Tata Nanos to the roofs of recently scrapped Ambassadors, and got the bus.
Ulta Ultra Motors would neither confirm nor deny rumors that they had sealed a contract to supply 500 “invertibles” to the military for INR3 crore each. However, they did confirm that they had high hopes for their invention in the “drunk driving market”.