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Concerned with employees not showing for work due to rains, company shifts office to a desert

17, Jun 2016 By Hemant Bijapurkar

Bengaluru: A fortune 500 company today announced its intention to build an office in a desert in order to completely eliminate the possibility of employees not showing up in times of heavy rains. With rains hitting many parts of the country many employees are finding it difficult to reach their place of employment.

Boss already at work in the desert
Boss already at work in the desert

We spoke to the HR executive of that company for more clarity, he said, “The rainy season is always a pain in the ass for us. So many employees unintentionally turn up late and even try to go back early which only ensures about 15 hour work days. This is extremely detrimental to the overall productivity of our office. On top of it all the water on the floor thanks to wet umbrellas has caused many people to fall and fracture their entire body.”

“So we came to the conclusion that not poor drainage systems or transportation but the rain itself is the problem. So the only way we could completely milk our employees was that we fully eliminate rains from their life. Hence one of my colleagues suggested that we proceed to build an office in a desert,” he added.

Elaborating on how the plan would work, he said, “The extremely high temperature in the day would also ensure that the employees would be literally rushing to take shelter in our office AC and might even turn up early for a change. Plus living in a desert would mean that employees won’t try to wander too far away during lunch time in the fear of getting lost. Also there won’t be any distractions like a multiplex or a night club thereby ensuring a zero social life for our employees so that they can effectively spend all of their time thinking about work. And no one would have any basis to ask for a raise as a camel ride isn’t very expensive.”

Employees however have are not very enthusiastic. Some even reacted with indifference. “The travel to office on potholed roads in the city isn’t any better during monsoon. I am not sure if this decision to have our workplace shifted to a desert is good or bad, as long as they provide a camel for commute,” said an employee, while sipping a warm cup of coffee.