Hyderabad. In a gruesome incident that has sent shockwaves around the country, Bajrangi Oberoi and Janardhan Ambani, two freshers recently hired on-campus by software firm Outfosys were caught red-handed stealing computer mouse, laptop batteries, keyboard skins, screen protectors, and a few other valuable items from the company’s premises.
They are currently locked in the ‘Smoking Room’ in the Outfosys campus while the management contemplates the course of action to be taken.
Faking News has learnt from its sources that the freshers were trying to “jack up” their CTC (cost-to-company) amount through this trick.
“I am unable to find words to describe this ghastly act committed by the two boys. We hired these guys fresh from their campus and offered each of them a package of Rs. 72,010 per annum, a full Rs. 10 more than TeeCeeAss, our nearest competitor, and this is how they show us their gratitude!” said Khush Naiver, the angry HR manager of Outfosys.
“Thank God these criminals were caught red-handed otherwise the cost of replacing the items that they stole would have caused a severe dent in our bottom-line and our stock price would have nose-dived. As it is the promoters of the company duped us by offering us stock options with an exercise price of Rs. 1,000 for a stock that has never gone beyond Rs. 11. Any further mark-to-market loss would have caused a heart attack to my wife, which on second thoughts wouldn’t have been such a bad thing. Maybe I should have let the boys get away with it,” said the confused CFO at Outfosys.
Faking News briefly caught up with both the ‘thieves’ as they were being handcuffed and shifted from the ‘Smoking Room’ to the ‘Server Room’.
“We didn’t do this for self-respect,” beamed a stinky Janardhan, “Both of us come from well-off families. In fact, off the record, instead of Outfosys paying me a salary, it is my father who pays them to keep me on their rolls because he doesn’t want me to join his business. This way he ensures that his monthly cash loss is a fixed number. We have been reading about the packages running into crores of rupees being offered to fresher’s from IITs and wanted to beat them by increasing our CTC. Had our thefts gone undetected a few more times, things would have gotten really close. Do you have any idea about the exorbitant prices at which used screen protectors and broken keyboard trays are selling for these days?”
Experts say that such behavior by the employees is “normal”. They predict more such occurrences with media reporting hyped CTC figures of students passing from premier educational institutes.
“Cost-to-company is a very important number in the lives of professionals’ today,” said Tanuj Khosla, an in-house expert at Faking News, while dipping his pista kulfi in tomato sauce, “The amount of dowry and bank loans one can get, credit card limits, respect from peers, etc. all depend on this one metric.”
“What the boys did was as natural as going to the toilet after having five plates of mutton biryani. I think they should be freed immediately and given another chance to continue their mission,” the expert added.
However, officials at Outfosys are not in a mood to forgive the offenders so easily. Company sources say that as a punishment both the freshers could be made to sign a bond with the company, as per which they can’t quit in the next ten years even in there is nothing left to steal in the company.