Mountain View, CA. The newly appointed CEO of Google, Sundar Pichai, has announced, amidst loud cheers from supporters, that ‘gmail’ will be renamed to ‘tamil’, effective immediately. The current mail ids with @gmail.com will continue to work for the next few weeks until all the ids are converted to @tamil.com, Mr. Pichai said. Faking News reports the excerpts from the interview here; his first in the new role as CEO.
FN: Congratulations, Mr. Pichai! Your name is beautiful pi ‘chai’ right. No wonder, you rose to the top! You have ‘chai’ in your name itself! SP: Cut it out! My name has got nothing to do with ‘chai’; it’s pichai and not ‘pi chai’
FN: Ok. Ok. Why are you renaming ‘gmail’ to ‘tamil’? SP: See! Google is known for innovation though most of our grand innovations have been acquisitions. The first thing I want to do in my new job is to bring identity to our parent company ‘alphabet’. As a CEO, to take an unbiased call, what better language than tamil to represent ‘alphabet’? So, I decided to name gmail as tamil.
FN: If anything, gmail has to become tmail and not tamil, right? SP: Then Google would have always been known as Googol and not google. Playing with names and words is the first and foremost activity at Google. It is part of our induction program. You have no idea, how many nicknames are there for every executive in Google.
FN: Ok. We get the idea. What are your revolutionary new product innovations going to be? SP: If I tell you now, it wouldn’t be an innovation; Would it?
FN: What is your message to young Indian aspirants? SP: Wow! Finally, the inevitable question. Tell me something! Are the Indian youth that dumb? I have no message for Indian youth. You have great writers up there who would decide ‘what young India would want’. Not my forte, boss!
FN: How will this new mail ‘tamil’ work? SP: A lot different from how tamil(s) normally work; Firstly, it will not allow ‘corruption’ in any form to pass through; Secondly, it will allocate the same storage for all users alike; no VVIP storage space for movie stars and politicians and finally, it will always abide by protocol.
FN: Simple words, yet difficult to understand. SP: Welcome to the new world of ‘alphabet’! All the best! And…and…I do not know any of these guys who are going to claim they know me well; shared the same bench in school together; bowled me out in cricket etc.