Sunday, 23rd February, 2020


IIM Ahmedabad grad quits banking job to sell iPhones full time

01, Oct 2014 By sidekick

Mumbai. Encouraged by the obscene prices of latest iPhones in India, Vikas Chadda – an IIMA graduate, has quit his job at JP Murugan to sell iPhones on eBay.

What was mistaken for shopaholism and an impending meltdown, was Vikas’s exhaustive research of global iPhone prices which went into the making of his ‘iPhone arbitrage model’.

The sky is the limit.

JP Murugan is considering a lawsuit for proprietorship of the model, as it was developed when they ‘owned’ him.

It has been a tough week for JP Murugan as yet another employee, Sanju, Vikas’ childhood-friendly-foe, left the rolls due to a fatal heartburnattack.

Explaining the business case, Vikas had this to say, “iPhone 6 arbitrage mode, as I call it, exploits domestic supply-demand mismatch taking advantage of market inefficiencies indicated by favorable differential pricing.”

“Basically, my Mallu friends get iPhones from Dubai and I sell them in India after a 100% markup. In a country plagued by poverty you will be surprised at the number of people who would rather pay 40k then wait for a month!” he later explained in simpler terms.

Vikas’ mother was elated which had more to do with having gone one-up on Sanju’s mother, who was now mourning in hospital, while she basked in glory with her fair-price iPhone 6 Plus.

“I am glad he can finally pay-off his education loan, after 4 bloody years,” she told Faking News, “And he can move out of this pigeon-hole he is sharing with 3 other guys, all of whom are heterosexual I am told.”

With a 2-day revenue of 12 lakhs, with over 50% in profits, analysts have estimated yearly revenue (based on run-rate) at 22 crores with a valuation of at least 880 crores. Something he would have never managed if he had stuck with his job.

His overnight success has  captured the imagination of b-school grads across the country.

“We are a country of lalas not entrepreneurs. Business empires in India are built on jugaad, not business plans. Our recent IT success was based on jugaadifying cheaper software using less expensive labour,” said the president of the newly formed “Dandha Club” in IIMC.

Defending Vikas’s cult status he added, “He is more profitable than Flipkart and Amazon, bitch.”