New Delhi. In an innovative step that will generate employment and ensure service, IRCTC has announced a new tatkal ticket booking system that won’t hang at the last minute.
“After unending complaints about ‘service unavailable’ and ‘connection error’ troubles, we have been able to figure out the problem – internet,” an Indian Railways official told Faking News, “Therefore, we are reducing this dependency on internet for booking the tickets and going back to tried and tested way of booking tickets – standing in the queue.”
“No, no, you don’t have to physically stand in the queue. You can still book tickets using your IRCTC login and at the comfort of your home,” the official clarified.
As per the new system, an IRCTC user will have to enter details such as travel route, date of travel, class of travel, and choose a particular train, before he is taken to page that would list ‘volunteers’ who would stand in the queue to book tickets on behalf of the user.
“These volunteers will be employed by the Indian Railways and the IRCTC website will list their ‘success rates’ in booking tickets – similar to success rates shown currently for payment gateways,” the IRCTC official explained.
The volunteers will charge
commission premium for their services, which will include waking up early in the morning, running to the nearest railway reservation counter, booking the tickets successfully, and delivering it to the user’s address.
“Volunteers belonging to the weaker sections of the society will be able to jump the queue and charge higher premium for his or her services,” the official underlined how the government’s intervention will bring fundamental changes to the original system of standing in the queue to book tickets.
The official further revealed that Indian Railways swill retain a portion of the premium to meet the operational costs of the IRCTC website.
“Ummm… yes, you may say so,” the Indian Railways official reluctantly conceded when this reporter wondered if this didn’t amount to regularizing touts and unauthorized agents.
“But this is not so shocking. Government regularizes even unauthorized colonies built by builder mafia. We are merely trying to help people and not endangering anyone’s lives!” the official justified the decision.
“It also solves the problem of too many people logging in the IRCTC website as soon as the tatkal window opens. The real rush will be offline – among the volunteers, while a user can place his order for tickets anytime at his or her convenience.”
“And look at the brighter side; anyone can become a tout… errr… I mean, a volunteer now. This will create jobs for the youth. We are calling it Rahul Gandhi Railways Swayam Sevak Yojna,” the official said.