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Snippets

IT companies to chalk out a bay in office premises and name it ‘Onsite’

30, Apr 2016 By shakechillii

Mumbai: In a mad race of employees, where everyone dreams of onsite, IT companies have been struggling to meet the expectations of all. There are too many takers, for too less a pie. Exit interviews results show that a whopping 57.38% of the employees who quit, do so because they were not sent onsite.

The Onsite facility of the IT company
The Onsite facility of the IT company

In a path breaking manner, one IT company has now come up with win-win a solution to this problem. They have chalked out a bay at the corner of the office and rechristened it “Onsite”.

The bay will be a closed one with limited access and finger print entry for seclusion. The entry doorway will also be made separate once the idea is put into place.

All the employees who clamor for onsite opportunities will be sent to this bay for a duration of 3~6 months. The bay is designed from inside to have a feeling like US / Europe.

The ACs are set to a perpetual 15 degrees Celsius. The walls will have posters of Elvis, Johny Depp and Donald Trump. The landlines will be routed to a lady with an American Accent.

Toilets will have no jet sprays but only toilet paper. The social media apps too will be a part of this initiative. Auto face book check-ins at foreign locations will be done on the weekend basis.

To top it all, they will also be paid a per diem as per the dollar rates. The salary slip will read it as Onsite Remuneration to constantly remind them of the fact that they are onsite.  (Equivalent amount will be deducted from their special allowance to make sure that the company’s bottom line is not adversely hit).

Before approval, employees will have to go through a mock visa interview as well. Sources suggest that Roadies fame Raghu has been roped in for this job to be a hard task via approver so that some employees simply back off at the application stage.

We could not elicit a response from the Employee Union leader, who has been busy packing his bags for his onsite stint.

On the other hand, HR of the IT firm has been patting its back after getting the proposal approved from the top management in the annual board meeting. In a comic-sans font reply to our mail, head of HR of a very large IT firm, based out of suburban locations, mentioned that he is confident that the move will help reduce the attrition by making people achieve their onsite dream without a jet lag.

Sources said the HR head himself is serving a notice period for not being promoted. May be the companies require another revolutionary idea to stop attrition for this cause. Pseudo promotions on the cards?