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Sensex loses 700 points as traders fear a massive gorilla outside

23, Sep 2011 By Pagal Patrakar

Mumbai. Indian stock markets witnessed a record fall today as stocks tumbled on worries of a huge gorilla standing outside the BSE building, which no one in the streets actually saw.

BSE traders maintained that a gigantic and sinister gorilla was waiting outside the building, ready to pounce upon anyone whom it saw coming out after trading – a constant fear that pushed them into panic selling of stocks.

“It’s waiting out there, a huge huge gorilla, it will destroy everything!” said a visibly shaken Sonali Ranade, a trader with BSE. When pointed out that no ordinary Mumbaikar could see any gorilla the whole day, Sonali referred to some reports by financial consultants and economists to back her fears.

Angry Gorilla
A gorilla, apparently not very happy with Indian economy and stock markets.

Not only BSE in Mumbai, stock markets across India witnessed this sharp fall, which many experts blamed on the fears of gorilla.

“Stock markets work on sentiments,” explained leading investor Rakesh Jhunjhunwala, “Currently there is a strong sentiment among Indian investors that a giant gorilla could soon appear on the horizon and go berserk; destroying big buildings, bridges, and other infrastructure in the process. People are panic selling infra companies’ shares as a result.”

Jhunjhunwala refused to disclose if he was buying or selling the shares of infrastructure companies. “Will let you know once the gorilla comes and goes back,” he said. He also refused to comment if he believed that gorilla was certain to appear.

“I can’t tell you about the gorilla, but yes, infra companies’ shares are certainly going to fall more,” he added.

But stock traders and many other investors appeared totally convinced that India was destined to be mauled by this giant gorilla, which they claimed was a distant cousin of King Kong. Traders further pointed out to the losses registered by American and European stock markets, which they claimed was due to fears of King Kong returning to attack USA.

However most of the traders were unable to explain how panic selling of stocks could guarantee any safety against the threats from this massive gorilla. Will the gorilla attack people based on how their stocks performed?

“Oh my god, look, gorilla! It has arrived!” a trader screamed in panic and ran away without answering our correspondent’s question when he saw a madari with his monkey.