Friday, 10th April, 2020


Missing professional skills of employee found on LinkedIn

01, Oct 2012 By Pagal Patrakar

Mumbai. Vencut Subbu, VP Strategy, Hefner & Hefner consultants, could never teach Aryan, his subordinate, crucial capital markets skills to design products that their company could sell to their clients. However, he was shocked to find those “skills” listed on Aryan’s LinkedIn profile earlier today.

Aryan has added skills: Capital Markets, FX Options, Futures Strategy, and 5 more…” declared the LinkedIn update that shook Vencut Subbu to the core.

Now it’s easy to acquire professional skills and be noticed by HR experts

“Aryan is an ass!” he told Faking News, “He has no idea even about how mutual funds prices are determined. No way can he have these skills that never ever showed up in the last three years of his association with us!”

A stunned Vencut immediately undertook a Google search to check if LinkedIn database was hacked again and random skills were added to random people like Aryan, but he didn’t find any news article about security breach of LinkedIn profiles.

He read the LinkedIn update again, and this time, to his added horror, he noted that there was an additional update: Aryan has been endorsed by Aashish for his skills and expertise.

Restless and edgy, Vencut straightaway called Aashish, senior manager working in his firm, “Dude, when did you find Capital Markets, FX Options, and all those skills in that moron Aryan?”

“Boss, I think we all know FX Options,” Aashish justified his ‘endorsement’ activity on LinkedIn, “Aryan helped me compare all Foreign Currency Options while I was checking for that iPhone5 price. He even concluded that HKD was the best deal and Euro was damn costly. He’s a smart chap!”

A shocked Vencut didn’t ask Aashish or Aryan to define “Futures Strategy”.

“I think it was a mistake to log into LinkedIn thinking it’s better than Twitter or Facebook,” Vencut concluded, “I just checked Aryan’s Facebook profile and his Twitter page, both of them reflect his personality better than these skills listed on LinkedIn.”

Vencut took screenshots of Aryan’s Facebook timeline, where the feed showed that he had ‘liked’ a YouTube video titled “Leaked scenes from Jism-3”, and his Twitter page, where his latest tweet “you are intelligent and sweet” was tagged to Poonam Pandey.

(inspired from this tweet)