Mumbai. Announcing a paradigm shift in the way successors are chosen in corporate houses, Tata Group has announced that they would conduct a television reality show to select the candidate who will succeed Ratan Tata, the 72-year old chairman of the $71-billion conglomerate. The step is believed to take media as well as management to a never-seen-before spiritual level causing the citizens of the country to forget all their problems.
“As a socially responsible group, we have always cared for what the society wants, and we realized that people were bored with shows like Bigg Boss and Pati, Patni Aur Woh, and had no enthusiasm about the upcoming Rahul Mahajan’s swayamwar. We could sense the need and we decided to cater to it by thinking this new reality show that would also allow us to get our new leader.” a Tata Group spokesperson said.
The exact format of the show is being finalized while bids have been invited from interested broadcasters to win television rights for the show. But broadly, the show would aim to judge the participants on various qualities needed to run a large group like Tata.
According to well placed insiders in the company, the reality show would have Nano Round where participants would be pitched against a high-pitched belligerent woman and asked to mollify her by all means. There would also be a Lashkar-e-Tata round testing disaster management skills of the participants, and an OkTataByeBye round that will bring out the funnier aspects of the participants.
The final three participants will be interviewed by Ratan Tata and a Group Head will be finally selected. Common men and women, who are expected to be glued to television sets during the broadcast of the show, can also participate in the process by sending SMS at 8282 (TATA on your mobile) at a special rate of 10 rupees per SMS throughout the show.
The show would be shot and produced in Mumbai in all probabilities, but the language of the show would be either Hindi or English, with occasional sprinkling of Bengali and Dutch (in chorus). Sensing the risk that absence of Marathi from the show could attract attacks from certain groups, Tata Group has decided that a participant will be allowed inside the show only after he/she obtains a minimum grade in TOMFOOL.
TOMFOOL stands for Test Of Marathi For Only Official Language and will be conducted on the lines of TOEFL to ascertain if a non-native speaker of Marathi deserves a job or even a stay inside Maharashtra. It would be conducted by the leading test conducting agency MNS (Merit Nitpicking Services). Tata Group Head would have an office inside Maharashtra in Mumbai.
Experts have welcomed this innovative step of Tata. Hari Sadu, an HR expert said, “Normally big companies spend big money on head hunting for top jobs, but Tata Group has changed the rules of the game altogether. They would actually be making money in the process (through selling television rights and sharing revenues with MNS and SMS services). I guess more and more companies would follow suit. It calls for a case study at top business schools.”