Monday, 17th June, 2019

Snippets

This appraisal season carrot demands were on all time high but sticks remain unsold

08, Nov 2015 By chachachaudhary

When our faking news correspondent Bonobos was getting engaged finally after being rejected 15000 times, he wished to serve his guests ‘Gajar ka Halwa’ at the engagement ceremony.

carrots more in demand this season
carrots more in demand this season

He called up Kallu Halwai, and  went to vegetable shop at the end of his house lane, asked for the carrots but the vegetable vendor told bonobos that his entire stock of carrots was bought by a person in an expensive suit who came in a  chauffeur driven Audi.

Bonobos decided to go to the big wholesale market to buy some carrots from there but even at the wholesale market carrots were not available. He asked the local panwallah Lallan Tiwari outside, he also told the same story about the person wearing an expensive suit in a chauffeur driven Audi buying all the carrots.

The vegetable supplier Baingan Singh said some baby  carrots are to arrive at the market tomorrow and Bonobos should come early to collect them.Bonobos went there next day, but he was terrified to find that an Audi was already parked in the parking lot.

Then Bonobos decided to talk to the person in the expensive suit. Bonobos introduced himself as ‘business correspondent of the faking news’ and talked to the guy in expensive suit.

The guy in the expensive suit was the The HR manager  named Kaamchor Kakkar of multinational GKJ(Gadho ki Jamaat)International.

Mr. Kakkar then instructed his secretary named Chamcha Chaturvedi to entertain bonobos.

Bonobos to Mr Chamcha: Sir whether they are for some office party or you are planning  to open some Carrot specialty Restaurant.

Mr Chamcha: It is to drive the mules forward. Our company is following ‘Carrot and Stick approach’ this year to induce productive behavior in mules and drive them in the desired direction.

Bonobos: But you bought some really small carrots.

Mr Chamcha: The bigger the mule the smaller the carrot. Also we have innovated an approach wherein we put a magnifying lens called Promotion before the baby carrot. Also after that we label the carrots as luxurious house, good school and luxurious lifestyle. From the magnifying lens of promotion the mule cannot see anything except for the shade of orange and pink.

Bonobos: But how can the mule be so dumb that he doesn’t make out whether the carrot is very small behind the magnifying lens .

Mr Chamcha: How would he called a mule if he figures out that thing out, he would then become the manager if he decodes that secret. The mule would graduate into a hyena called manager .We have certain hyenas with exceptional tongues with gifted licking skills transform into  a wolf called General Manager. Then he becomes the custodian of the carrots, he doesn’t have them as he is then into the non vegetarian diet of mule meat.

Bonobos: Sir but you did not buy any sticks from the stick seller. How would you complete the ‘Carrot and Stick’ without stick.

Mr Chamcha: That is where we are the innovators and we save a lot of money by not investing on sticks. Our carrots only turn into sticks. When the mule gets into GKJ(Gadho Ki Jamaat)mule gets his carrot of luxurious house but  its EMI acts as stick, good school  is the carrot and its fees the stick, enhanced lifestyle is the carrot  with credit card bills as the  stick.

Bonobos was speechless, he dropped the idea of ‘Gajar Ka Halwa’ and shortlisted on ‘Sev Murmura’ with some peanuts as garnishing from his lifetime savings.