Angelina Jolie “When Brad bores me, I turn to Faking News”
Brad Pitt “I read Faking News to keep Angelina happy”
With rupee weakening against the US dollar, NRIs are suddenly back in demand for everyone – relatives, shopkeepers, real estate companies, and beggars. With every dollar fetching more benefits of an aam aadmi amidst rising inflation, Indians are back to giving importance to NRIs. However, there is a downside too for the NRIs back in the US, where they have been denied salary hikes.
Frustrated with the fact that there appeared to be no impact on circulation of money in the market even after recurrent raise in interest rates, RBI has now decided to take extreme measures to control inflation and supply of money. The central bank will now hire goons who will snatch superfluous money from individuals and organizations to maintain the optimal level of liquidity in the market.
The government announced a major economic reshuffle today after successfully executing a cabinet reshuffle yesterday. Chairman of the Planning Commission and Prime Minister Manmohan Singh, who retained his portfolio in the cabinet reshuffle earlier, revealed the new economic statuses and classes for the citizens of India. This is the first time an economic reshuffle has been declared publicly though the rearrangement has been taking place for generations.
Continuing the trend of MBA grads giving up lucrative offers to “do something meaningful”, three students from the Wannabe Institute of Management, WIM, have successfully completed their mandatory summer internship in an auto-rickshaw. These students successfully analyzed the business model of an auto-rickshaw wallah in Mumbai and suggested some strategic changes to increase the bottom line, which has won them accolades from all over the globe.
Heralding a new era in public-private partnership, Planning Commission has decided to partner with fast-food restaurant chain McDonald’s in an attempt to remove poverty from India. McDonalds will soon give employment to a poor Indian and pay him one McAloo Tikki in kind, which costs at least 20 rupees even during Happy Hours, thus meeting the threshold set by the Planning Commission to identify urban poor.
While many in the world, especially in the US, are celebrating the death of Osama Bin Laden as a welcome news, it might turn out to be a very bad news for Pakistan. Authorities have confirmed that the Abbottabad mansion of Osama, reported to be worth 1 million USD, was mortgaged to many banks in Pakistan, which now face almost a certain risk of default.
Government claims that dropping money bags solves the problem of identifying the eligible BPL households for cash transfers, which could otherwise take several months under the AADDHAR program of Unique Identification Authority of India. The step is further claimed as being “self-selecting” as it automatically excluded many “non-deserving” segments of society, such as the salaried classes, which is constrained from going out in search of bags.
If you order pakora or samosa from Parliament’s canteen, chances are high that you would be handed those out wrapped in a paper, as is the accepted business practice everywhere in the country, but what is making the practice special here is the fact that those papers are actually the printouts of Union Budget presented by Finance Minister Pranab Mukherjee just a couple of days back.
A 6 year old will go to court today charged with defaulting on a loan from his father. Krishna Venugopal, 38, a professor of economics from Chennai, has asked a local court to send his son, Vijay, to the “naughty corner” for twenty minutes for having failed to pay back the principal as well as interest on the 50 rupees loan he took from his father.
Even as US President Barack Obama is trying to block outsourcing to India, India got a major shot in the arm when the Kingdom of Spain announced its intentions to outsource bullfighting to the Jat community in India. The step has been announced at a time when the community leaders have decided to “flood” Delhi with their cattle on the opening day of the Commonwealth Games.
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