Letters
Letter to Sonia Gandhi by Congress MP who flashed gun at toll booth
Oct. 12 |Congress MP Vithal Radadiya, who was caught on camera earlier today flashing a gun and threatening employees at a toll plaza near Vadodara, has spoken out. He has blamed the “G” factor.
PM’s letter to the citizens on completion of 3 years in office
May. 22 |UPA (season 2) government has completed three years in office and Prime Minister is celebrating this achievement by hosting a dinner tonight. All coalition partners and leaders are invited. Common citizens (aam aadmi) have not been invited as the government is on an austerity drive. However, the Prime Minister’s Office (PMO) has released a letter to the citizens of India on this occasion:
Exposed: top secret letters exchanged before A Raja resigned
Nov. 15 |Faking News has accessed a series of letters exchanged between the top leaders of our country in the last few days, which has now concluded with A Raja resigning from the union cabinet. These letters were supposed to be classified and not meant for public consumption, but a whistleblower in the PMO has sent them to us. The letters were sent to WikiLeaks as well, but the team there is still busy reading the Iraq war documents.
An open letter to Nitish Kumar from a non resident Bihari
Jun. 21 |Hi, A Non Resident Bihari here. I hope it doesn’t sound downright funny anymore to call yourself a Bihari, which surely was the case till you didn’t become the Chief Minister of Bihar. You know, one of my fellow Bihari friends used to answer “IIT Kharagpur” whenever someone in our business school asked him where he came from. I haven’t talked to him for some time now.
An open letter to Lalit Modi (please tell us the truth before you go)
Apr. 20 |Dear Lalit, Dude, stop gawking at that girl, and concentrate on this letter. At the outset I want to make it clear that I am not your fan, not even on facebook. In fact, starting today, facebook tried to make things easier by removing the concept of being a fan; now they just ask you to like something. Nice step, but too late, now I don’t even like you.
An open letter to Shoaib Malik (hope this one is delivered)
Apr. 6 |First off, let me congratulate you for believing in the concept of marriage so much, that you were willing to come here and surrender your passport to the Hyderabad police. Let me also express my condolences for being tricked into thinking that Sania Mirza was a Pakistani citizen. I do want to take the time however, to give you a few pointers about life in general.
An open letter to Sania Mirza (returned by postal department)
Apr. 1 |I’m pissed Sania. Pissed. For years I have tolerated your pathetic second round exits on court and not said anything in the spirit of feminism. For years I have not commented on the size of your ever increasing love handles brought on by copious amounts of biryani. For years I have heard you make an ass of yourself at press conferences and make incoherent excuses in a fake accent.
Little Johnny discovers “Holy Shit”, writes to Faking News
Sep. 8 |I had always wondered what was ‘holy shit’ when I used to hear so many people using this term in daily and telly life. A couple of times I asked people what was ‘holy shit’, but they laughed at it and never told me. I looked up in the dictionary and although I could find meanings of ‘holy’ as well as ‘shit’, I couldn’t figure out what was holy shit, but today I can proudly tell you that I have not only found the meaning, I have found “holy shit” itself!
“Do animals give us consent for everything we do to them?”
Sep. 3 |A monkey is happy being chained and made to dance in front of ugly looking losers? Is that a consensual chaining and dancing? A donkey is happy carrying loads of useless stuff on his back? Is that a consensual labor or a bonded labor? A cow is happy being milked? What proves that it is a consensual milking? The worst is done to the male-cow i.e. the bull.
