Business
Government to sell title sponsorships for various scams
May. 26 |In an innovative bid to earn some money that was lost and pocketed away by a few individuals, government has decided to sell title sponsorships for various scams to interested parties. After a brand wins the title sponsorship right, every mention of the scam in the media and the public would need to be accompanied with mention of the brand, as it happens in the IPL.
Kapil Sibal secretly buying shares of Facebook
May. 21 |Union Minister of telecom, IT, HRD, and censorship, Kapil Sibal has been buying shares of Facebook through proxy accounts, an investigation by Faking News has revealed. Although it’s early to say if Facebook share prices are falling due to this secret intrusion by Sibal, experts believe that soon Sibal could own a considerable stake in Facebook and sit on the board of the dotcom company.
Panipuri wala claims huge losses due to women asking for extra paani and free puri
Apr. 23 |Ram Murari, a street vendor selling panipuri (also known as golgappa or gupchup), has claimed losses in excess of lakh rupees per year due to women customers insisting on extra paani (flavored and salted water) and free puri (hollow and fried bread) without paying extra for those delicacies. Murari has filed a complaint with the office of National Commission of Women asking the commission to reign in the exploitative women.
Facebook buys IRCTC to promote social networking in trains
Apr. 10 |Realizing the fact that Indians end up making friendship with their co-passengers during train journeys, Facebook has decided to buy IRCTC – the train ticketing website of Indian Railways – to improve the network of friends of Facebook users. Post this acquisition, passengers allotted seats next to each other through IRCTC will be automatically added as friends on Facebook. Sources say that Railway Ministry has agreed to the Facebook offer.
Vijay Mallya asks banks to provide him “wine loan” on lines of gold loan
Feb. 22 |If banks and other financial institutions can provide loans against valuables like gold and land that don’t lose value with passage of time, why can’t they provide loans against wine, which also gets better and dearer with time? This question has been put forward by Kingfisher Airlines chairman Vijay Mallya after he was subjected to jokes like “Vijay Mallya approaches Bappi Lahiri for Manappuram Gold loan”.
IIM student skips placement to get employed with Kingfisher Airlines
Feb. 20 |In one of the most daring decisions taken by any MBA student in recent years, an IIM Ahmedabad student has opted out of the campus placements to get a job with Kingfisher Airlines. 26-year-old Siddharth Malviya claims that his undying spirit of doing something interesting was behind his decision to choose an uncertain future with Kingfisher Airlines over a secured corporate career with a plush salary.
Vicks launches caste-based inhalers, as cold affects people based on their caste
Dec. 23 |Researchers have found out that if a Brahmin, Muslim, Yadav, and Paswan were left exposed to the same cold weather conditions, they will develop different health complications and hence they required different levels of treatments. Based on this finding, Vicks, the leading manufacturer of cough-and-cold over-the-counter medicines, has launched caste based VapoRubs, throat lozenges, and inhalers.
Rats welcome Food Security Bill in anticipation of rotten grains
Dec. 20 |With Food Security Bill cleared by the union cabinet, millions of rats living in and around FCI godowns have gone on a reproduction spree in anticipation of free grains that will be left rotting by the government agencies. Rats are confident that their coming generations will not die of hunger as there would be enough grains lying unused in the warehouses and railway stations.
Fake Walmart store discovered in Ulhasnagar during anti-FDI protests
Nov. 30 |A totally fake Walmart store has been found at Ulhasnagar, a suburb of Mumbai. The fake store was discovered by BJP workers who had actually gone to tear it down thinking it to be the American version. The black flags turned white with shock when they discovered that the desi Walmart belonged to the USA – not the United States of America but the Ulhasnagar Sindhi Association.
Satyam’s Ramalinga Raju appointed as India’s new CAG
Nov. 12 |A week after he was released on bail, Ramalinga Raju has been appointed the new CAG of India. Raju will review all the earlier reports of the outgoing CAG and release new figures in cases of losses reported in various scams. Kapil Sibal, who has often argued that CAG had erred in calculating the 2G loss, claimed that Raju would prove to be a better CAG.
