World
China orders fake Steve Jobs owning fake Apple stores to die
Jan. 6 |Chinese authorities have decided to remove some glaring differences between the original and the faked products. As a first step towards this quality control, the authorities have asked Kai Mio, the owner of fake Apple stores in China, to die. Mr. Mio, a lookalike of Steve Jobs, has been visiting the fake Apple stores to motivate employees even after the original Steve Jobs died last year.
Pakistan to remove 16 December from all future calendars
Dec. 16 |Keeping with the tradition of altering history that doesn’t suit its ideological and political preferences, Pakistan has decided to remove 16 December from all future calendars. This step is aimed at erasing history that happened 40 years ago, when on 16th December 1971, Pakistan army surrendered to the Indo-Bangladesh forces, leading to the division of Pakistan and independence of Bangladesh. Pakistan will now assume it never happened.
Pakistan makes fake profile on Facebook to send friend request to USA
Dec. 13 |Pakistan has sent a ‘friend request’ to United States using a fake Facebook account after relationship between the two nations grew ugly in the real world. The step would help Pakistan play ‘both ways’. On one side, people would feel that USA and Pakistan are no more friends on Facebook, while at the same time Pakistan could still ‘like’ activities of the USA if the friend request is accepted.
Obama says sorry as NATO mistakenly bombs anti-India terror camp in Pakistan
Dec. 3 |“It was none of NATO’s business to bomb people and establishments that don’t pose direct threat to the American interests in the region,” a statement by White House condemned the attack in unequivocal terms, “We realize the emotional and strategic loss inflicted on Pakistan due to this reckless act, and we will do our best to help our friends come out of this trauma.”
Indians tempted as Gaddafi offers cheap petrol in return for safe haven
Sep. 16 |Millions of Indian citizens were thrilled no end at the prospect of getting petrol at cheaper rates when Libya’s beleaguered leader Muammar Gaddafi offered to do so if India provided asylum to him and his family. Gaddafi is reported to have taken a cue from Osama Bin Laden, who was given shelter in Abbottabad by Pakistan, apparently in return for millions of dollars of Saudi cash.
Obama announces austerity drive, will travel in Tata Nano
Aug. 6 |Shocked by the downgrade of US credit rating from AAA to AA+ by S&P, President Barack Obama has announced “austerity drive” to reduce fiscal spending, hoping to put US economy back in shape. As a first step towards reduction in spending, Obama announced that he would stop traveling in luxury cars and instead travel in Tata Nano, the $2500 small family car from India.
US apologizes for the next unilateral action on Pakistani soil
May. 15 |After facing strong criticism from Pakistan for its unilateral military action on Pakistani soil to kill Osama, US has apologized for any such step that it may take in future to target those whom it consider terrorists. White House conceded that Pakistani military or establishment was not involved or informed about the anti-Osama operation, but clarified that US didn’t do that on purpose.
China planning to create cheap copy of Pakistan near Arunachal Pradesh
May. 12 |After Indian intelligence agencies confirmed the presence of suspected Chinese military engineers in Pakistan occupied Kashmir (PoK), Faking News has found out the details of the secret mission these engineers are on. Using their famous “reverse engineering” method to create knock-off goods, the Chinese are trying to create a region like PoK near Arunachal Pradesh, some parts of which China has been claiming as “disputed territory”.
Pakistan releases list of 5 persons for whose actions state would be responsible
May. 10 |Frustrated with international community, which has been consistently blaming Pakistan for the deeds of “non-state actors”, Pakistan has officially released a list of “state actors” that contains names of 5 individuals. Pakistan has clarified that anyone not listed will henceforth be a “non-state actor” and Pakistani state won’t be responsible for the deeds those folks. The list contains the names of the President, the Prime Minister, the Army Chief, and two nominated members that the President would choose from his discretion.
British Queen told to allow assassination attempt to put Royal family back in news
May. 6 |Inspired by the media frenzy surrounding the killing of Osama Bin Laden, advisors to the Queen have suggested that Her Majesty may consider allowing an assassination attempt. A successful regicide would claw back some of the column inches and TV air time stolen from the Royal Wedding by Osama’s death. The Royal Wedding failed to capture the country’s imagination. Consequently, the Royal family badly needs a publicity boost and media attention.
