Angelina Jolie “When Brad bores me, I turn to Faking News”
Brad Pitt “I read Faking News to keep Angelina happy”
Dear Lalit, Dude, stop gawking at that girl, and concentrate on this letter. At the outset I want to make it clear that I am not your fan, not even on facebook. In fact, starting today, facebook tried to make things easier by removing the concept of being a fan; now they just ask you to like something. Nice step, but too late, now I don’t even like you.
Management Guru, Economist, Entrepreneur, Professor, Motivational Speaker and Philosopher Mr. Arindam Chaudhuri’s some of the well known statements include “count your chickens before they hatch”, “discover the diamond in you” and of course, “dare to think beyond the IIMs”. But his pearls of wisdom don’t end with these statements. Can you guess what could he be telling here to the large audience assembled to hear him?
First off, let me congratulate you for believing in the concept of marriage so much, that you were willing to come here and surrender your passport to the Hyderabad police. Let me also express my condolences for being tricked into thinking that Sania Mirza was a Pakistani citizen. I do want to take the time however, to give you a few pointers about life in general.
I’m pissed Sania. Pissed. For years I have tolerated your pathetic second round exits on court and not said anything in the spirit of feminism. For years I have not commented on the size of your ever increasing love handles brought on by copious amounts of biryani. For years I have heard you make an ass of yourself at press conferences and make incoherent excuses in a fake accent.
FNIG has taken a seemingly innocuous question by a journalist seriously where this unidentified journalist had asked Lalit Modi if IPL had any plans to go public i.e. come out with an IPO and offer its shares to the public for trading on stock exchanges. While Modi denied any such possibility, we demand that IPL must go public, even if it means the tournament being nationalized.
A study undertaken by Faking News Intelligence Group has revealed that many Indian politicians could go for sex-change surgeries to bypass the provisions of women’s reservation bill whenever it becomes a law. The bill provisions for one-third of the parliamentary seats to be reserved for contest by women candidates only, and it has met sharp opposition from many members of the parliament in the past.
Faking News has got some conclusive proof to show that Shahrukh Khan might be colluding with Shiv Sena to promote his upcoming movie My Name Is Khan (MNIK). Our technology correspondent has been able to get this screenshot from Shahrukh Khan’s inbox, which shows exchange of a few messages between him and Shiv Sena leader Uddhav Thackeray. It seems that to counter the “paid news” phenomenon in the media, political parties and celebrities are coming up with innovative ways to attract media coverage.
Imagine if Chatur Ramalingam aka Silencer’s speech on Teacher’s Day from the movie 3 Idiots were to be a real event. How would have the leading Hindi news channels of India reported it? Faking News tries to imagine the Breaking News headlines that would have been flashed by five leading Hindi news channels. If you haven’t watched 3 Idiots, you can watch the concerned clip here.
Come up with your own headline based on this picture. What could be the dog thinking at the end of 2009? And to be honest, I was quite lazy on the last day of the year and no new reports to offer, so came up with this lousy attempt. Wishing you all a very happy and prosperous new year ahead! But do tell us about the dog above.
Faking News Intelligence Group (FNIG), the research and analysis wing of Faking News, has come up with an electoral reform proposal that might just make the compulsory voting lucrative for common citizens, especially the poor. FNIG has submitted its report to the leading electoral reform activist Narendra Modi, which recommends paying money to all such Indian citizens who turn up to vote in any election.
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