After releasing an audiotape addressed to the US President Barack Obama, world famous terrorist Osama Bin Laden has now released a book of poetry, but surprisingly, he has dedicated it to his first wife Najwa Ghanem, even though speculators favored former US President Geroge W. Bush to be the recipient. The book, expected to be a runaway success, had been rumored to be released for over two years now.
January 26, 2010 | Filed under
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After the US State Department issued a couple of digitally-altered photos showing how Osama Bin Laden may look like today, FBI has now announced a public photoshopping competition to come up with more options. Although FBI has termed the competition as a sincere attempt to involve US and global citizens in the war against terror, our sources inform that the investigating agency was not happy with the quality of photoshopping done by the State Department.
January 16, 2010 | Filed under
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Acting on intelligence reports suggesting increased number of phone sex among youngsters, Chinese government has decided to ban all kinds of phones and has ordered telecommunications companies to provide pager services to its citizens. Chinese authorities had been worried over such gross misuse of telephones as it was unfeasible to record and analyze each telephonic conversation. Pager messages, on the other hand, are documented and subject to verification and analysis.
January 14, 2010 | Filed under
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Australian authorities continue to come out with weird statements amid outrage in India over deadly attacks on Indian students down under. Authorities have now claimed that the attacks were the handiwork of some kangaroos, and hence, not racial in nature. Authorities suspect that either one big burly Kangaroo or a group of rowdy Kangaroos were behind the attacks. They have also released picture of a suspect Kangaroo.
January 6, 2010 | Filed under
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An apple, which was dropped from the highest tip of Burj Dubai (Dubai Tower) to double-check Newton’s laws of motion and Gravitation, has disappeared and has been untraceable since it was dropped by His Highness Sheikh Mohammad Bin Rashid Al Maktoum. The decision to drop the apple was taken after various Arab and European scholars disputed the validity of Newton’s findings, especially the theory of gravitation.
January 4, 2010 | Filed under
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A Chinese court has awarded 11 years imprisonment to acclaimed painter Liu Xiaobo for not using red color, the national color of China, in his paintings for continuously over 20 years now. Liu was already in jail since 2008, after being arrested for painting a black rose even though one is supposed to imagine only red roses in China. It’s not yet clear if Liu would need to spend fresh 11 years in prison or his recent days in jail would be allowed for.
December 27, 2009 | Filed under
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The war against terrorism in neighboring Pakistan received a shot in the arm when hordes of terrorists died after witnessing a fashion show held in Karachi. The army is claiming that it was a strategic strike against terrorists where scantily clad models, girls smoking cigarettes, fashionistas caked in make-up, and socialites looking out for Sunday Magazine photographers were used as the primary weapons against the terrorists.
November 24, 2009 | Filed under
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In a unilateral confidence building measure aimed at easing tensions with rival India, Pakistani President Asif Ali Zardari announced the launch of the “RAW Mark” as the official seal of quality and standards for consumer products across Pakistan. This has been done apparently as a sign of reciprocity towards India, which has stamped every product with an “ISI Mark” since 1987 as the gold standard in quality and authenticity.
November 17, 2009 | Filed under
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As a further concrete and clinching proof of Indian involvement in terrorist and illegal activities in Pakistan, Pakistani officials have arrested an Indian parrot on charges of spying and sabotage. The parrot, who has been living in Pakistan for almost three years now, was reportedly repeating some top secret code words of Pakistani army when the alert officials apprehended him. Pakistani officials claim that the parrot was trained by Indian intelligence group RAW and was a long time spy.
November 7, 2009 | Filed under
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In an apparent attempt to appear forward looking and scholarly, Taliban has declared that Plant Psychology, a disputed field of study under Plant Physiology, is compatible with their own disputed version of Islam. After researching and investigating for decades, Taliban scholars have finally concluded that plants and vegetables have life and they react to physical and psychological stimuli i.e. plants don’t only feel pain and agony, but they can even hate you for mistreating them.
October 29, 2009 | Filed under
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