Mumbai: Bollywood awards season is once again upon us where we recognize the best of the best from Bollywood in the year gone by. To make these awards look more genuine, we feel there are certain categories that need to be added. These categories will make the whole affair seem a lot more truthful.
Best PR team of the year award
People who haven’t done a single film during the year but still managed to stay in the news deserve an award. Now these awards can be given under any label, Style icon award, fresh face of the year award, refreshed face of the year award. Name is immaterial as long as we recognize the talent.
Just because he/she came to the function award
If someone is making the effort to step out in Mumbai traffic and come all the way to the awards function then the least one can do is reward them for this effort.
He/She dances well so must give an award for free performance.
In between all the boring awards and the host making old jokes copied from the internet, we need something to hold the attention of the viewers. For that, we need good dance performances. Anyone who is a good dancer must be accommodated with an award. Small price to pay for a 5 minutes dance performance.
“His/Her father is an industry veteran” award
Film industry respects its veterans. Every time a veteran’s son/daughter enters the industry, they should be given an award. This will free up the best debut award which by default goes to children of film stars right now. With them having their own award, maybe some talented kid will finally get his/her hand on the best debut trophy.
Box Office chump but Social media champ award
In recognition of the growing influence of social media, an award for people who are very active on Twitter. People who manage to get more Likes and Retweets than the number of people who come to watch their films should be appreciated as well. At least they are getting success somewhere.
Lifetime attendance award – Rekha
If there is an awards function, you can bet your bottom dollar that Rekha will be there. She may never visit the Parliament, where she is a member but won’t miss an awards function for anything. It is about time her contribution to awards functions is recognized.
Lifetime disappearance award – Aamir Khan
If Rekha is ever present, Aamir has been ever absent for decades. Unless it is the Oscars, you won’t spot Aamir Khan there. Staying in Mumbai and resisting awards functions for so long, this self control deserves an award. We salute you Aamir, tolerantly!