Saturday, 22nd February, 2020


Baby reviewers give just 1 star to the latest baby adopted by Brangelina

25, Dec 2009 By Pagal Patrakar

New York, USA. Baby reviewers at New York Times have given scorching and negative reviews to the latest baby adopted by the celebrity couple of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, referred to as Brangelina for the sake of brevity in today’s busy urban life. Brangelina had adopted a six-month-old baby boy Jean-Pascal, while celebrating holidays in Haiti last week. After adoption, the baby has now become Jean-Pascal Jolie-Pitt (JPJP).

“With skewed eyes, directionless hairs, tanned skin and a poor voice, JPJP leaves a lot to be desired. The first couple of Hollywood could have been a bit more careful while selecting their seventh child. This is not what the nation expected from them for Christmas release.” said Aaino Hall, the leading baby reviewer of New York Times, adding, “I can’t give this baby more than 1 star. Watch it only if you have got nothing better to do.”

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie
Brangelina have refused to react to the baby reviewers’ comments till reports last came in

Other baby reviewers from major publications, such as “Baby Talk”, too have been unsparing in their criticism of JPJP and his new parents. Reviewers have denounced Brangelina for forgetting the basics of baby-making while releasing children for the global audiences. Reviewers outside the USA were not too different either.

“Fans deserve better. The latest baby makes you feel that Brangelina have lost the touch with the reality. It also puts a big question mark on the relevance of Brangelina. Should they take a break from baby-making? In fact, I’d suggest them to retire for good.” the scathing suggestion came from leading baby reviewer Baba Sen of in India.

The most generous of all baby reviewers gave JPJP a rating of 2.5 stars out 5, but the reviewer added that the above-average rating was just in hope that the adoption by Brangelina could boost US-Haiti ties in the field of baby-making. “Otherwise the baby disappoints.” cautioned the most generous reviewer Fidel Vernio of Haiti’s best selling baby tabloid “Babymeter”.

Despite the negative reviews by most baby-reviewers, people’s interest level in JPJP seemed quite high as terms like “JPJP exclusive pics” remained the most googled term for the day. Many bloggers came out in support of Brangelina and condemned the baby-reviewers for passing judgment on others’ babies.

“Why don’t they make their own babies and show them to us, so that we review their babies? Who gave them this right to review babies?” posted an angry blogger on his blog. “I don’t understand this whole concept. What the hell man. I won’t make babies to get stars from them. I’d make them as they are fun to make. Why do these guys even exist?” wondered another blogger. A few bloggers also wondered if we are prying too much into the celebrities’ lives.

But baby-reviewers have rejected such criticisms and have justified their actions. “If people don’t like us, why do they google for “baby reviews” each now and then whenever a new baby comes into this world?” said a baby-reviewer in defense.