Westeros: Ever Since Game of Thrones started 8 seasons ago, the army of the dead has been on the march but is yet to reach till Winterfell. While several wars have started and finished in Westeros since then, the army of the dead is continuously marching to start their first one. Now finally the Night King has explained the reason for the delays, smart phones!
Speaking to the media contingent outside of Last Hearth, NK said, ”We have been marching for years and even as a dead man, I am tired! Don’t you think I want to end this march so that we can see some action? But these smartphones have ruined everything, my soldiers are busy taking selfies all the time. Selfie with ice, selfie with wall, selfie with l**da, selfie with lehsun. There is no forward movement at all as I wait for hours for the selfie sessions to finish. Then they spend hours adding filters to their photos, then they are forwarding them to each other, total nightmare.”
“It is not just the individual selfies, there are group selfies, that is another nightmare as it takes them hours to arrange themselves in the order they want. Sometimes they have fallen from a cliff while taking a selfie but the problem with having a dead army, they climb right back up to try the selfie again, that is another delay”, the frustrated Night King said.
Meanwhile, people in Winterfell were busy preparing for the upcoming battle by drinking and having sex with each other.