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Imagine TV to host its third shaadi – Veena Ki Match Fixing

06, Dec 2010 By Pagal Patrakar

Mumbai. After talking unsuccessfully to various celebrities to get married on television for its third season of the swayamvar series, Imagine TV has finally got a person who is more than willing to do anything on television – Pakistani actress and model Veena Malik. Veena is currently taking part in the television reality show Bigg Boss and would be evicted after an impromptu fight with another housemate if need be.

“We are finalizing the details and format of the show,” Imagine TV CEO said, “Veena Malik’s acceptance of the offer is not any challenge, that’s granted; why would she want to go back to Pakistan where people are waiting to throw eggs at her? We are looking into other aspects of her staying back in India, say, visa issues, Shiv Sena issues, BCCI issues, etc.”

Veena Malik massagine Asmit Patel
The Mystic Masseur – this video clip from Bigg Boss 4 has also been used by some sexologists to demonstrate how women fake orgasm

Sources suggest that the television channel has ‘fixed’ the visa issue and Veena Malik is all set to get an extension for her stay in India. “Why do you think India denied a visa to Musharraf?” one of our sources informed, “it was done to compensate for Veena’s extension, for overall presence for anything Pakistani in India is capped as per the rules.”

The second most important challenge – protests by Shiv Sena workers for hiring a Pakistani artist – too has been fixed in a rather innovative way. Veena Ki Match Fixing would be used as a platform to promote an unnamed product to be launched by Shiv Udyog Sena – an aphrodisiac oil solution, with the Shiv Sena tiger as its logo.

“There would be a ‘massage round’ in the swayamvar where Veena would massage all the contestants with the Shiv Sena oil in the same sensual manner as she did to Asmit Patel in Bigg Boss,” confirmed the Imagine TV CEO, thus hoping that the production and shooting for the third season would go uninterrupted in the city.

Shiv Sena sources refused to confirm or deny the reports when contacted by Faking News, but a leader told us on conditions of anonymity that Sena no longer had any issues with Veena staying back in India and in fact they were now “enjoying” her stay.

More details about the format of the show are still awaited though sources inform us that there would be eleven contestants to represent a cricket team. A wild card entry for a contestant, who would be called the twelfth man, could also be announced in the middle of the show, and rumors say it could be none other than Mohammad Asif, the Pakistani cricketer and ex-boyfriend of Veena Malik.