Tuesday, 28th January, 2020


Khap Panchayat orders Rahul Mahajan to be forcibly married off to Rakhi Sawant

30, Jul 2010 By Pagal Patrakar

Rewari, Haryana. In an attempt to improve their image in the civil society and reach out to the youth, a Khap Panchayat has decided to execute the longest pending demand of the populace – to get Rahul Mahajan and Rakhi Sawant married off to each other. The decision was taken after news about Rahul Mahajan beating his second wife Dimpy Ganguly and was splashed all over television news channels.

“I had switched on the television in the morning to get some updates on honor killings but they were talking about this wife beating thing. We immediately called a meeting and concluded that this was not an honor beating, and hence not at all acceptable.” Boochar Tau, head of the Khap Panchayat said.

Boochar Tau then ordered young and sturdy Khap members to abduct Rahul and Rakhi and produce them before the Panchayat within a month, after which they would be married off to each other. The Panchayat wants to be done with this issue before the start of the Commonwealth Games, which starts in another two months, so that they have ample time to prepare for the disruption of the games.

Rahul Mahajan & Rakhi Sawant
The long cherished dream of every Indian could finally come true thanks to a Khap Panchayat

Although Tau didn’t confirm it, sources indicate that the Khap Panchayat could sell the broadcast rights of the forcible marriage to some television channel.

“The whole process starting from selection of handsome and hefty Jaat boys for admission into the abduction gang to the actual abduction of Rahul and Rakhi finally ending in their forced marriage can make a good TV series. It can be called Kyun Ho Gaya Na, Fevicol Vivaah, Khap Ne Bana Di Jodi, Jat Yamla Pagla Deewana, or even India’s Got Assholes.” a source said.

The decision by the Khap Panchayat has been welcomed by most of the people, many of whom thought it was the most rational thing to do in the current circumstances as Rahul Mahajan had turned into a serial wife-beater.

“At least when he beats his wife next time, it would be treated as a street fight and not domestic violence.” said Abhinav from Mumbai, who supported the Khaps on this issue.

Rahul Mahajan was unavailable for comments but Rakhi Sawant reacted sharply.

“Oh jejus!” she said.