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Punjabi Pop Singer forgets to show expensive cars, drugs, Russian chicks in music video, album flops

07, Oct 2015 By Pagla Ghoda

Ludhiana, Punjab: Explosive heartthrob of youth of Punjab (Punjabiyan de dilan di dhadhkan) and renowned Punjabi pop-singer Kanvaljeet Singh ‘Killa’ has ruled the Punjabi pop scene for over seven months now, but his 17th album ‘Nikkar waali chhori’ has badly tanked in the market and has failed to impress the masses. As per industry experts the failure of this album can be attributed to the fact that it lacked elements required for a cool music video.

Killa performing for a live audience
Killa performing for a live audience

“Killa’s music video did not have the usual attractions such as scantily clad Russian ladies bathing in pool-side showers, extremely expensive million dollar cars chasing and crashing each other and a pack of cool looking but dumb people smoking pots and what nots,” said Joji Khanna veteran Punjabi pop-music critic.

For the benefit of our English speaking and firangi readers we present below complete list of the song-titles of all the songs in Killa’s latest album and their approximate English translations.

Nikkar waali chhori  (Side A)

Mitran di bult da vyah [My homie’s mo-bike gonna be getting married] Paaji sadde undertaker, duniye nu khumme jeb ch lekar [My big-bro so cool, he plans on world domination] Kangna tera ni – Killa Interpretation Encore [Yo bracelet so cool, I copy this song] Nikkar waali chhori naal pyaar ho gaya [I love the chics who moves around in Knickers] Munde Daryaganj waale, lagde devil de saale [The dirty dozen of Daryaganj, Devil’s bro-in-law] I only dream about you ma baby – Happy Version [I was planning to get a chance with you – And I succeeded]  Nikkar waali chhori  (Side B)

O Soni, tun meri Lamborghini [I’m gonna do you on back seat of ma Lamborghini] Dil lai gayi kudi – Killa beats version feat. Diesel Paaji [The girl who did ma heart transplant] Blue Eyes – Killa Dubstep remix feat. Little Jaswinder [Your drank so much arsenic, your eyes kinda look mutant-like blue] O Kulche chholle waali, sannu pyaaj te de ja [My falafel sandwich is waiting for your onion rings baby] Point blank sannu kudi ne ankh maarti [That girl so hot, I felt like I was shot in ma eye] I only dream about you ma baby – Sad Version [Reprise] [I was planning to get going with you – And I failed] While the full album has now been released on Youtube and Vimeo for free listening and free viewership it has still failed to gain any traction among the youth because of its dull music videos.

It is also being rumored that Killa is now seeking 20 crore rupees in funding using which he will re-shoot all the music videos and re-release the complete album, which is when audience is expected to treat the album as a block buster.