India’s wing of netizen committee PORN (Proud netizens Of republic nations) have declared certain standards to define patriotism. Chairman of the India’s committee, Mr. Swadesh Aswasthi in a press meet yesterday announced, “On the eve of 65th republic day, we have defined certain standards to find if a person is true patriot or not”. Swadesh then shared the list for understanding of others.
1) Know the difference between Independence day and Republic day (insiders say Swadesh had to face lot of embarrassment after not knowing the difference. To prevent others from facing certain embarrassment, he made it a top priority).
2) Though it has nothing to do with the internet, to call ourselves a complete patriot,watch the complete speech of Prime Minister/President before Independence/Republic day. As the speech is broadcast a day in advance and that too on a channel like Doordarshan, keep medicines handy in case there are any adverse health effects.
3) Attend any flag hoisting event in neighborhood (this could be any school or college) and take pics there and post them on Facebook.
4) Watch any patriotic movie of your choice but try not to question the logic behind Pakistani terrorists speaking in local language and the logic behind hero dismantling the bomb by cutting any random wire. Try to cry at the end of the movie.
5) Change your profile pic on Facebook, Twitter and Whatsapp and other social media to the Indian national flag and change your status to “proud to be an Indian” or “Mera Bharath Mahaan”. Remove the status and the pic at sharp 12:00 am on 27th jan. Try to create fake accounts on Facebook and Twitter and take part in #NaMo or #AAP clashes. Label who oppose you as Pakistanis.
6) Remember to support either Narendra Modi or AAP on all social networking websites irrespective of whether you have ever voted in reality or not.
7) Watch patriotic songs on YouTube, preferably ‘ab tumhare hawale watan saathiyo’ or ‘dil diya hai jaan bhi denge’ or A.R Rahman’s ‘Vandemataram’ or any other song of your choice. Share them on Facebook with status like ‘Hit like if you are an Indian’.
8) NRI’s must update their status on how much they miss the celebrations while they stay away from their beloved mother land. They are advised to keep a badge of Indian flag at their workplace/college whose pics have to be regularly posted on Facebook.
9) Share petrol rates of India’s compared to other countries by not considering other economic factors and blame government for almost everything.
10) Last but not the least, remember that patriotism is to be shown only during India vs Pakistan cricket match, 15th august, 26th jan or on occurrence of any unfortunate events like terrorist attacks.