In what is a very unique development, Brinjals from all over India are protesting by refusing to pollinate. They say that they are not going to have sex anymore because the Indian government is preparing to commercialize a genetically engineered version of Brinjal – bt brinjal.

In an interview with FakingNews, Shri Jairam Brinjeshjee, who is leading the protest, asked “can you imagine what bt brinjal could do to us?”

Our reporter answered “no Brinjeshjee, I can not, kindly explain”.

Brinjeshjee explained “ to begin with, it will forcefully have sex with our race and contaminate us with their unnatural component”.

“And why is that a bad thing” our reporter asked.

Brinjeshjee replied “You seem to be ignorant hence I will explain. There are more than 2500 different types of brinjals in India. And as you know, plants have sex via cross pollination. Unfortunately, like humans, we can not choose our partners and hence we have sex with whosever’s pollen lands on us. In other words, we have sex with the closest available brinjal plant. This does not mean that we are horny all the time, its just that God made us that way. Now if bt brinjals come to be our neighbor, we will be forced to pollinate with them. And our kids will not be natural…(cries and wipes his tears) they would be bt brinjal and eventually there will not be any other types of Brinjals except bt Brinjal. Hence we have decided not to have sex”.

Since our reporter was not a biotechnologist, he asked a few dumb questions.
Shri Brinjeshjee, we humans use condoms for protected sex, have you tried using one?

Although this question angered Shri Jairam Brinjeshjee, yet he politely answered the question. “That is a very good point, unfortunately there are no condoms available in the market for Brinjals. I believe such a thing has not been invented yet. But yes, we would use that once it is made available. As of now, the only thing that comes close to condoms for us is producing bt brinjal in a confined environment. By confined environment, I mean bt brinjal should be cultivated in a facility which is closed to the outside environment.”

“You mean like a greenhouse?”, our reporter asked.

“Yes, like a greenhouse” replied Brinjeshjee.

The interview concluded with one last question which the reporter couldn’t resist to ask. “I am a big fan of Brinjal, Baigan ka Bharta is one of my favorite dishes. You probably hold me responsible for loosing many of your cousins and I apologize for that. However I have one last question for you Shri Brinjeshjee, is bt Brinjal harmful for human consumption?”

The last question ticked Shri Jairam Brinjeshjee off and he angrily shouted “THAT IS A QUESTION FOR YOUR HEALTH MINISTER TO ANSWER. GOODBYE”.