New Delhi: In what can be considered the most shaky twist to soap opera of Indian politics, Yuvraj Duryodhan, the quintessential villain of Mahabharata has made a comeback and has claimed that the throne of Delhi is rightfully his. He has claimed that he was the Prince of Hastinapur (now National Capital Region of Delhi) and alleged that Pandvas defeated him by foul play, so when Pandvas are no longer there, he infact is the true ruler of Delhi and wants to be made the Chief Minister of Delhi with immediate affect. “I know things have changed, people of Hastinapur no longer follow monarchy and instead give power to different set of incompetent fools every five years. That sounds to me like the most screwed up political system a republic can ever have” Duryodhan told reporters at a press conference here in New Delhi. “I have clear thoughts on a lot of agendas ranging from poverty, infrastructure, especially the lack of palaces and other major issues like global warming for which I will organize various yajnas to make Surya Dev happy.” Duryodhan further told the reporters.

When asked what took him so long to come back, Duryodhan told that his testicles were badly damaged in his dual with Gadadhaari Bheem at the end of Mahabharata war after which he escaped and put himself in a state of deep meditation in a distant cave and slept for thousands of years. “I was woken up in 1997 due to the Pokhran Nuclear tests and found that the world was now technologically advanced. I immediately got my new testicle implants done. I thought I would live a reclusive life but seeing the pathetic state of affairs in Indian polity I had to return and I now hereby claim what is rightfully mine.” Duryodhan declared amid loud noise of thunder, lightening and rain-showers. Bureau resources have told Faking News that Duryodhan got his surgery done somewhere in late 1997 at the Breach Candy Hospital in Mumbai where most of the famous NRIs and Politicians occasionally get their skin implants and beautification therapies. Since March 1998 he was living in Vasant Vihar posh colony in New Delhi under the name of D.D. Singh (Duryodhan Kumar Dhritrashtra Prasad Singh) before staging a comeback through a press conference last week.

Duryodhan’s brother and close pal Dushaasan who is currently settled with his wife and kids in Las Vegas (owing to his gambling habits) agreed for a telephonic interview with Faking news. “If Bhratashri joins politics the people of Hastinapur would have nothing to worry about, he is a top level diplomat and a high class politician; these are after all the qualities that that we kuru-vansh guys get in our blood. Just that he loses his temper once in a while.” Dushaasan told our correspondent over phone. “And he has to get many things right, which have wrongly been portrayed in history, Our father Dhritrashtra was actually not blind, but was a severe case of chronic conjunctivitis, and Draupadi cheer-haran was actually a wardrobe malfunction incident exaggerated through ages.” He further added.

While it is being rumoured that Duryodhan will be launching his own party soon by the name Kuravas Democratic Alliance (KDA), and is mulling upon buying teams in IPL and Formula 1, it is also being said that some political parties may already have offered him a ticket for next elections.