Kandhar As US economy is officially out of recession, the positive effects are being seen all over the world. But what could not have been anticipated was the sensational announcement by Afganistan based terrorist group Al-Fayda that for the first time in the history of global terrorism it would be recruiting from educational institutions such as B Schools especially those located in Afganistan, Bangladesh and Pakistan. “The candidates from these countries have real potential. And we are basically looking for people with an MBA degree in Operations Research (OR), to carry out our Terrorist operations in these very countries.” Aloo Bukhaari, an Al-Fayda spokesman told in a telephonic interview to the news channel Al-Fakeera this Thursday. “After the US crackdown of our global terror teams in Afpak region our employee numbers have been dwindling, but we not only think “aaj ka fayda” but also “kal ka fayda” hence the initiative. We realized that our assignments are increasingly spanning the globe hence we need true Global Business Leaders. Now when the world is out of recession and our fund lines are open again, we plan to go on a hiring spree this summer.” Bukhaari further added. The home minister’s office when contacted for comments, handed over following audio recording to the press, “Such acts of terrorism will not be tolerated and India will continue to wage its war against terrorism.” This recording was reportedly made by the former home minister himself and actually has been played many times before media in the last few years.

While Al-fayda has already started its video-conferencing presentations in certain B-schools, other terrorist groups are also following the lead. It is being rumored that terrorist groups in the region such as Maoist International Corp. (MIC), Mumbai Underworld Associates (MUA), Shiv Sena (SS) and Australians (AUS) are readying themselves for visiting these B schools. But there are exceptions. In a personal interview to Faking news the Mumbai Underworld (Dadar Zone) spokesman P. Tiwari rubbished these claims. “We will not hire from the B Schools, because our operations are not truly global. We generally terrorize the businessmen, builders and film industry celebs, for that we have our own home-bred call center staff that specializes in threat and extortion projects. One call does the trick, and that saves costs as well” Tiwari said with a smile. A secret source from another Afganistan based Terror Group Al-Khayega revealed on the condition of anonymity “Al-Fayda might be going ahead, but our HR policies are different. We do not recruit fresh grads, instead we go for people with significant field experience. We are seriously considering hiring some retired Indian politicians. We will be offering them the posts of off-shore consultants, owing to their hands-on experience in terrorizing the masses.”

While this news has filled students and placements agencies with a sense of excitement, a wave of panic has spread among the recruitment cells of consultancies and investment banks. Investment banks which used to rule B school placements with their hefty packages are now afraid that the best talent will flock to the Terror Outfits owing to their high performance bonuses and huge variable pay components which will increase their overall CTC offer. Education and HRD minister Mr. Kapil Sibal remained unavailable for comment but sources have told faking news that HRD ministry is not “officially” aware of any such developments.

Thanks dost.

Thanks, you mean you made some short movie, if so post it's link here, would love to watch.

Thanks Anand, keep reading FN.

Thanks dude, please share this with your friends.