Monday, 6th April, 2020


After Bellary, nation postpones honesty till consensus is reached

05, Dec 2011 By Pagal Patrakar

New Delhi. Citizens of India have decided to put honesty in cold storage until a consensus is reached among the aam aadmi over this whole issue of corruption. The decision was taken after B Sriramulu, a candidate backed by Reddy brothers, won the Bellary bypoll in Karnataka by a huge margin, triggering celebrations in the region. Reddy brothers are currently in jail for their involvement in illegal mining scam.

“I think some of us rushed in and tried to remove corruption from India a bit too soon,” Kisan Baburao, an aam aadmi told Faking News, “Perhaps we need to debate the whole issue and reach a consensus. We should put the issue of honesty on hold right now, just like government has done with the issue of FDI in retail.”

Anti corruption poster India
The anti-corruption movement in India

While many television news channels have announced hours and hours of debate to settle the issue, the citizens insist that the consensus will not be reached so soon.

“It will take years, maybe generations,” Baburao said, “Right now, we should just forget it. Honesty can wait, there is no hurry.”

Citizens have decided not to bring up the issue of honesty on every damn occasion and let life go on as it is until a broad consensus on the issue is reached. This includes definition of corruption as well as identification of the corrupt.

“We should stop calling people ‘corrupt’ till this consensus is reached,” Prashant Bedi, an erstwhile expert on honesty said, “Those accused of corruption should be called ‘differently honest’, or maybe honest2.0, or maybe something else. Or we should simply dump this whole issue of who is honest or not. Who cares man?”

Those citizens, who are currently identified as corrupt, say someone like Suresh Kalmadi or a bribe accepting local constable, have also welcomed the results of the Bellary bypoll and the decision by the citizens.

“It’s a moment of redemption and vindication for us. Ideally the citizens should have issued a formal apology to us, but it’s fine, no hard feelings. Let’s just forget this and work together to build a shining India. I am proud of our vibrant democracy,” someone from Tihar Jail said.

Hahaha… saale sab chor hain,” sub-inspector Ghasita Ram said, as he took a bribe of 500 rupees from this Faking News reporter who had jumped a traffic light. Ghasita was smiling and holding his head high as he put the 500 rupee note in his pocket.