Bangalore. Mr. Muni Kariappa has been an auto driver for over 30 years and all his hard work had paid off when he was finally announced as a millionaire by Forbes today.
“I can’t believe it,” he said holding back his tears, “For so long I have been driving without bothering about signals, potholes, one ways, etc., and now I am rewarded for something so great. I never thought I could have hit the million mark already. I dedicate this great moment to all the people of Bangalore,” he continued and started abusing profusely due to work habit.
On asked how he managed to gain that much money he smiled and went on, “It’s my passion towards my customers which has helped me grow. I used to devise paths all around Bangalore. I used to have at least 4-5 routes per destination and I make sure I give the option of the longest and the second longest to make sure I get to spend a lot of time with my customers.”
“Customers are God,” he added.
Mr. Kariappa’s closest competitor, Mr. Sivam was an IT engineer who used to travel to his office every day in auto but upon realizing that the auto waalas were making more money than him, he quit his job and is now an auto driver himself.
“I make a lot of money driving to my old company. In fact, I laugh at all my ex-colleagues because now I earn more than them, get more sleep, and I get to see my family also. I even get a take-diversion hit-list from some of my colleagues so that when the specific people mentioned in the list board my auto, I make sure they reach super late to their destination,” he said in a fake American accent, which he believes helps in charging extra too.
Mr. Kariappa explained how his usual customers include foreign tourists and non Kannada speaking people from whom he gets more money.
“We are actually doing this for India,” he said sternly about taking extra money from foreigners, “We know how much these foreigners have stolen from our ancient glorious days so now we are taking revenge by charging extra in auto. We charge extra from non Kannada speaking people because we want our money back after spending it on watching Salman Khan movies.”
He also went on explaining about the glorious history of India for half an hour until interrupted by our reporter. He apologized stating that boring people with conversations was another one of his skills to extract more money as conversational charges. He also went on to explain how the rising petrol prices, crisis in Ukraine, problem with the Somalian pirates and Mars Rover’s exploration have caused them to charge extra.
After calculating some of the other auto driver’s revenue, Faking News can confirm that more millionaires would be present in the next year’s Forbes release.