Saturday, 21st September, 2019

Snippets

CBI, ED will train officials to learn pole vaulting so that they can jump over gates to arrest VVIPs

23, Aug 2019 By dasu

New Delhi: Looking at the way things unfolded in front of ex-finance minister P Chidambaram’s house  where some of the CBI officials had to jump over the compound wall and gate to enter ex-minister’s house, top bosses in charge of CBI and ED are planning to hire experts who can train their staff on learning basics of pole vault.

pole vault

“Earlier our focus was to train our staff how to provide first aid as VVIPs whenever they were arrested, they immediately complained about chest pain or some other health issue. After giving them first aid, we were admitting them in hospitals,” said P Biswajith, a senior CBI officer. 

“Now situation has changed. Today’s VVIPs forget about having basic courtesy of offering tea, coffee or a glass of water to us, they do not open the gate. In such environment what else we can do other than learning pole vaulting,” added Mr. Biswajith. 

Mr. Biswajith told us the department has started talking to pole vault legends like Sergey Bubka and Yelena Isinbaeva. 

“Mr. Bubka who has taught Mexican people how to jump over 200 feet trump wall whenever it comes up, has claimed, he can teach us how to jump and directly reach the third-floor balconies”, added Mr. Biswajith.

“The locks these VVIPs use are very high end, many cases swiss made ones. Tough for us to break. Humara upar bahut pressure bhi hai. We have to show result quickly to our actual bosses. We cannot spend entire day jumping walls, breaking doors”.

“If journalists of today know how to jump walls, stand in neck deep water for hours, why we can not learn these tricks. With changing times, we must adapt and learn new skills”, told Mr. Biswajith when he got a sms with exact height of compound walls of VVIPs houses they were planning to visit next for questioning.