Monday, 27th January, 2020


CBI fully independent, chose the A4-size paper for printing all by itself

26, Apr 2013 By Pagal Patrakar

New Delhi. All rumors and criticism about CBI working under pressure and interference from the union ministers were laid to rest today when it was known that top CBI officers didn’t wait for any green signal from any cabinet minister to choose papers for printing their reports.

“No one told us which brand and type of paper should be used. In fact, we decided to use A4-size paper even though the default setting in our printer is that of letter-size,” CBI Director Ranjit Sinha claimed.

Paper Sheets
CBI Director denied that these were clean chits to be distributed among concerned parties.

The CBI Director revealed that choice of paper was not apolitical and this independent act by the CBI couldn’t be dismissed as being a trivial one, such as giving clean chits.

“Dude, only you reported that Rahul Gandhi was fond of making paper boats,” Sinha pointed out to this Faking News reporter, “Since then, everyone in the government has been ordered to use paper that are easily folded and turned into paper boats or planes. But we acted independently and chose the size and type of paper all by ourselves.”

Sinha was responding to criticisms over CBI sharing the status report on Coal Scam with the PMO and two union ministers.

“In the age of social media, we shouldn’t feel bad over sharing,” the CBI Director justified the act, while reiterating that the investigating agency was fully independent.

“Furthermore, everyone knows that the Law Minister only checked for grammatical errors, and it was needed because of MS Office suite had started malfunctioning and Shift+F7 was not working,” Sinha revealed and claimed that the act by CBI was totally a ‘digital’ and ‘social’ one.

“Prime Minister doesn’t speak much, but he ‘likes’ all our activities on Facebook,” Sinha further revealed, “To reciprocate, we are planning to re-tweet what PMO tweets.”

Sinha refused to deny or confirm that his last statement (about re-tweeting) was about reports on various scams.