‘Don’t eat too much fiber and hold on to your poop’– were President Trumps opening words as he addressed the media at the White House over concerns that the country could run out of toilet paper in a few days.
Panic stricken citizens indulged in stockpiling essentials such as toilet paper, which had led to empty shelves in many states. To deal with the situation, Trump was huddled in a high level meeting with his advisers and came up with a plan to tackle the shortage.
Continuing with his address, Trump said, “We have enough supplies of toilet paper right now. But can’t say about the future. So I urge fellow Americans to stop eating too much food. Let us for a brief period, become like those third world countries. And just to lead by example. I will be having nothing but a Big Mac and Diet Coke for the next one month. This meal has absolutely no fiber. So there won’t be any urgency to visit the toilet.”
The President also asked citizens to follow India’s lead and use water to help conserve toilet paper. “India has more than a billion people. But still they don’t have a toilet paper crisis. And that is because they use water. We should also use water. Water is good. Water is everywhere. 70% of the earth is covered with water. There can never be a shortage,” he added.