New Delhi. As per the latest developments on WhatsApp, India’s leading rumour news broadcasting service, the corners in various commercial complexes and government buildings in India have been declared as UNESCO World Heritage Sites.
This was confirmed when this reporter received a message that read “Good News! All the corners in the commercial complexes and government buildings in India have been declared as UNESCO World Heritage Sites for their unique red coloured spit patterns. Proud to be an Indian! Pass on the message if you truly love your country!”
Pandu Hawaldar (name changed for no particular reason), a security guard at National Bank of India seemed visibly elated.
“I am proud that my efforts have finally borne fruits. I have been spitting all over this place for years creating various unique patterns, but no one ever noticed. This news however is a testimony to the contributions that I and others like me have made to this country. Achchhe din are finally here. I would like to thank Manikchand and Goa for making this possible. Now I can retire happily.”
When asked about the importance of this news, Mr. Puranik, an official of Archaeological Survey of India said, “This is really great! The heritage of our country is finally being recognized at a global level. We have been preserving this art for many years. It is worth noticing that there are millions of such spit patterns and each pattern is unique. The 1444 unique pillars of Ranakpur temple in Rajasthan seem nothing in comparison to this. We are planning to hold workshops to educate people about various ways of spitting so that this art is not lost to modernisation.”
“This is a sign of unity in diversity and communal harmony that our government has been working on for past 60 years. People from all strata including the rich and poor, businessmen and farmers, Hindus, Muslims and Dalits, everyone has participated in this. But the current ruling party is trying to destroy this rich heritage in the name of Swachh Bharat Abhiyaan. The installation of photos of various Gods and Goddesses at many such corners in the name of cleanliness is actually a plot to promote Hinduism and divide the nation on communal lines,” said an angry senior member of the opposition party on condition of anonymity.
Taking cue from this development, various municipal corporations in India are contemplating to suggest the pothole ridden roads for the World Heritage tag.
“Even we have preserved the potholes for ages. Why should they not be considered? We have to hurry up before the government destroys them in the name of development,” said a municipal commissioner of a metro city, with a hint of urgency.
Meanwhile, no UNESCO officials were available for comments. But this is insignificant as WhatsApp has been officially accepted as a credible source of information.