Thursday, 23rd January, 2020


Corruption wins by an innings and 50 lakh crores vs. Rest of India

21, Dec 2010 By Pagal Patrakar

New Delhi. The yearlong annual test cricket between Corruption and Rest of India was won again by Corruption by a huge margin of an innings and 50 lakh crores with around 10 days to spare. With this, Corruption has successively won its 40th championship since it was accorded test status in 1970.

Both the teams will meet again for a new match in the new season on 1st January 2011, with Corruption once again being backed by the bookies as the favorites to win the match.

“It’s good to win, but it’s never satisfying; we are hungry for more,” said an elated Suresh Raja, captain of the Corruption team. Nursing a hamstring injury, Suresh Raja showed splendid team spirit when he said that it didn’t matter whether he continued to play or captain the team till the team kept on winning.

In contrast, the Rest of India team, captained by Kaun Girish and vice-captained by Bijoy Pee, blamed each other for team’s poor performance even though both of them scored double centuries in their opening stand in both the innings when Rest of India got to bat twice for three days.

“WTF! It was Rest of India batsmen scoring those big centuries? I thought the Corruption team was batting!” wondered Mohandas Patel, a spectator and dejected supporter of the Rest of India team.

Lalu Yadav playing Cricket
A file photo from one of the earlier matches between Corruption and Rest of India

“OMG! Girish and Bijoy play the same way Corruption team members play. Seriously, there is no difference!” Mohandas repeated in disbelief as he tried his best to recall the day when Rest of India batted and lost all the wickets in one over except for an opening 420 runs stand between Kaun Girish and Bijoy Pee while following on. In fact, Girish and Bijoy had continued playing even as there was some stone-pelting from rowdy spectators from the Kashmir stand in the Jawaharlal Nehru Stadium.

In a scandalous second innings while following on, Bijoy Pee had got out Hit Wicket after scoring a double century while Kaun Girish remained not out on the other end as every other Rest of India batsman got run out, even on no-balls.

“Right! Girish was not budging an inch from the non-striker crease even as other batsmen like Mohammad CAG left their ends to take a run,” Mohandas finally recalled.

Because of such dubious performances by the Rest of India team, many supporters suspect some large scale match-fixing involved in these annual games.

“Why is that Swiss guy always appointed as the official scorer even though we all see him underreporting the runs scored?” Aarti Aai, an angry supporter demanded to know, “I’m damn sure the whole Corruption team and even Girish and Bijoy scored much more than what we are officially being told.”

“If they question my integrity, I’m ready to answer all kinds of questions from the Khap Panchayat,” Kaun Girish rejected all accusation of any match-fixing or malpractice on his part even as his deputy Bijoy Pee used this opportunity to demand the captain’s role.

For the time being, both Girish and Bijoy have decided to form a committee called BCCI (Board of Control for Corruption in India) to look into this matter of Corruption winning the matches year after year.

“BCCI? ROFL!” Dalit Modi, a supporter of the Corruption team said.