New Delhi. Shocked by the utter inability of the human beings to understand the basic nature of their purported best friends, dogs have clarified that there was no element of sycophancy involved when they licked someone’s feet or paws. The community elders among the dogs have requested the media and the politicians to stop discrediting the canine culture by propagating age old prejudices against them through meaningless sentences.
“Give me a break! You fugly human beings understand that we are dropping dead over your grandeur and expressing our unconditional loyalty when we lick your feet? Seriously, are you guys so noob?” Tiger Senior, a community elder and the spokesdog of the Urban Pet Dogs Union for Modern Breeding (UPDUMB) said.
Tiger told Faking News that all the dogs, irrespective of their color, size, shape or breed, were addicted to licking anything that they could get their tongues upon.
“Haven’t you seen dogs licking their own feet and sometimes their own balls? Do they do it to show loyalty or servility to their feet or genitals? It’s for fucking fun for god’s sake! Why can’t you guys understand?” Tiger expressed his frustration over the latest controversy where the BJP President Nitin Gadkari was being criticized for comparing Lalu Prasad Yadav and Mulayam Singh Yadav with dogs licking feet of their owners.
Tiger further revealed that some dogs licked the feet or faces of their owners just to change the taste in their mouth after they are bored with licking all other damned things that they could find in the vicinity.
“Licking the feet of human beings is like chewing gum for us. Mostly done as timepass or bad breath remover.” Tiger revealed the hitherto unknown and shocking facts about the dogs.
UPDUMB members have also requested the media and politicians to refrain from mentioning dogs in their statements as they often get it horribly wrong.