Monday, 6th April, 2020


Engineering student found reading newspaper, boycotted

11, Apr 2015 By jholu

New Delhi. In a weird turn of events, a group of IIT Delhi engineering students enrolled in B. Tech, Materials Engineering(ME) have boycotted a friend, who was found reading newspaper.

In an exclusive investigation by Faking News, our correspondents found that the situation is bad enough, that the student, Mr. Gaurav has been forced to eat separately in the hostel mess, his girlfriend has broken up with him, and is also being mocked by the faculty members.

When inquired, one of his earlier ‘friends’, on the condition of anonymity informed, “Because of the institute rule, our common rooms have television, as well as newspapers. Apart from the Delhi-Times, or HT-City, we never read any other stuff. News is also not allowed on the TV sets. We do use television though sometimes for the cricket matches. Otherwise, we remain mostly updated about all the affairs of the world by watching trailers on YouTube, healthy Porn and other pirated movies from various sharing platforms like DC++ and then learn other life skills from english soap operas like Breaking Bad,  Friends, Game of Thrones  etc. We are always said to be the future of the country and hence keeping updated with the affairs in US is important! But this *****od Gaurav, is just an ass. He was found reading the editorial page of the Hindu! Can you imagine?.”

Newspapers can be used for various purposes like eating Namkeen, wiping various places and then should always be safely kept in the dustbin!
Newspapers can be used for various purposes like eating Namkeen, wiping various places and then should always be safely kept in the dustbin!

Gaurav’s now estranged girlfriend, is of the similar opinion.  She said, “We were like love birds. He could even buy me lipstick and eyelash color. In fact he was also a good listener. He listened to me speaking about such important issues like the shoes, and boyfriends of Shamini, Divya, Kalpana, Nancy, Priyanka, Kanika, Garima, Urvasi, Elana, Rina, Babeeta, Alpana, and Tihana. Also he could listen to how many of these girls are complete bitches! But then suddenly, that day, he started talking, that too about the Aam Aadmi Party! Yew… Can you imagine? At the first instance, I forgave him. But then the very next day, he was talking about some “Budget”..  of some country? Can you imagine? I had no option, but to break up with him!”

On inquiring about him from the head of  his department, Prof. Jholu said, “We have the brightest brains in the country. And after making them slog through completely meaningless coursework and overburdening them, with mugging hundreds of equations and formulas., we just want them to get placed in various banks around the world! Gaurav is a very bright student. And he was already on the way of becoming a dedicated Net-Surfing, Money-Crunching, Saturday-Night-Djing ‘officer’, who would not have given a damn to the world, and should have spent all the money on his wedding and then for buying various worthless stuff in the malls! But then I came to know about this, that he has started to read newspapers! Oh my god! What a waste!”

In the mean time, after these recent developments, Gaurav has gone quite silent and is now often seen taking a solitary walk around the institute ground.  He has declined to comment on the issue but our sources suggest that he his still continuing with reading the newspapers.

In a bid to save Gaurav from further damage, other students, including his earlier friends, girlfriend and professors have written to the Director of the institute that the circulation of the  newspapers should be immediately stopped. Instead, interesting journals such as ‘Astrology Today’, ‘Bollywood Masala’ should be subscribed to. The proposal is still pending with the Institute administration, and will be then taken up by the MHRD.