Bengaluru: Nagesh Nolan, a software engineer, who is currently deep inside the friendzone of his coworker Smitha Varma, has apparently gone into depression after his status was downgraded in Smitha’s phonebook from “recharge waale bhaiya” to “data-pack waale bhaiya”.
Ever since Nagesh came to know about his downgrading, he has not been able to sleep and eat properly and has booked multiple appointments with several psychiatrists and tantriks in the city.
“If I am no longer re-charge waale bhahiya, then who the hell is?” Nagesh asked earnestly. “Yesterday I saw her scrolling through her phone and noticed this downgrade in my friendzone status. Recharge is often a superset of data-pack, it’s a bigger deal. Now I am just a small data-pack guy? Someone else is taking care of her phone recharges. I am sure she is thinking of dumping me completely”, Nagesh said with apprehension written large over his face.
Wiping his tears he spoke again, “Meri to bhaisahab kismet hi kharab hai, in school also the same thing happened to me. I used to be Canteen mein khilaane waale bhaiya for Shilpa Shandoliya for 2 years from class 7th to class 9th. This is the best friendzone status one can have, that too with a hot girl like Shilpa. I was literally on seventh heaven. But once we went to class 10th, she downgraded me to a mere Assignment waale bhaiya. It’s like being downgraded from S&P AAA rating to a D one. It’s like being downgraded from being a C++ coder to an HTML coder. It’s like being degraded from normal twitter troll to a political troll who uses even more filthy abuses and lies. I was not able to sleep for 10 days at that time. Same thing is happening to me now.”
When we asked Smitha the reason for change in Nagesh’s status, she said, “I am just trying to accommodate all these engineers who keep hitting on me. Can’t ask everyone for recharge, someone’s got to be the data guy.”
Meanwhile, Nagesh was seen asking the office secretary whether he can buy phone recharge for her.